i believe everything happens in no coincidence. as i was touched by God.
i just lost my mobile phone. my beloved super feature mobile phone. how i lost it was not
important, since it’s still a mystery even to myself. this month i kinda forgot fulfilling my
due in giving my share in His glory as i do every month for my grateful.
He touches me this way, reminds me that i have lived so posh, i start to forgetting where i
get it. i was sad, angry & confuse ofcourse but somehow i’m happy. not to mention that i’m
a kind of person that cannot expressed my emotions, correctly i mean. i just learned
various emotion that i could actually or should have have. but from my early age, i don’t
feel them, really. like when i should be angry at the time i lost my bike, i feel nothing, just
empty. or when my aunts died, i didn’t cry just quiet inside. i never been angry or actually
be in a physical fight with someone, i never hit back. but i remember, someone i dislike so
much in the past and suddenly he just went ill for a few days afterwards.
anyway, back to our related topic. i lost my mobile phone and that’s it. it’s a lesson that
sometimes people need to look back just for a simple reminder what we already have now.
my past week was a week of freedom. a moment where i could really expressed my i really
want in my own free time. i start to understand myself, pleasuring my inner body towards
a level i once reached and lost in it. 
i paint (here’s one of the four massive styrofoam i did) , i create poems, i think, i sing, i ride my bike
again in midnite air and i see the "me" i left behind for all these money making activities.
i love the dark i use to create beyond all of my sunshine in my book of days. in sadness i
could feel the energy i need. funny to some people, or even freaky to those who actually
knows me after sometime. but yeah, i’m proud of the oddness inside. of all the lesson i
learn and moments i’ve burn, i grew into this individual who gives respect to the meaning of
life. in any forms, i believe things do have their own reason. even the slightest change really affect
me in somewhat way. that’s why i love pay attention to details human does and kept
forgetting. i try to learn and feel them. as i was always saying, the result is not important.
the biggest concern to me is the process. after all, we’re just dreamers in endless space…
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