i’m listening to Norah Jones - The Nearness Of You right now in my cold quiet
bedroom.
today was a busy day at work as ussual. i looked up in the dark sky, the moon.
well, half actually, which makes it more beautiful than it really are. anthony,
my colleague are having his leave for a week. so, his group account was handed
over to me. not to include people’s from ninik’s account as she is having her 3
month maternity leave. work is like hell, i love it.
some people from my past sent me their greetings and hugs through my mobile.
people i didn’t expect to message me, but they really did. merry, my friend who
sat across from my work desk are grouchy the whole day. well, she already
being an ass since a week ago (i dunno, maybe she’s having her PMS as she told
me). but nevermind, i love my days now. trying to love it. i only got two options 
in my life. start it with thinking it’s gonna be pain in my back or imagine and
making it sunshine in my head. i choose cloudy sky as i always love…hahaha. i
feel it as a balance for me. i can’t stand in the light for a long amount of time.
or sit in the dark when i got no people who really understands me. a grey area
is something human won’t choose but becomes my object of realization and
concern. i don’t have super powers or too weak to be bullied around. i’m just an
option of what i’ve choose. people get busy with everyday’s matter which
makes them more complicated than they really are. how they connect with each
others as a supreme being still amazed me in somewhat way. but what i do
understand now is they change. we change.
like my late conversation with my friend after work hour, eating fried rice. she
told me that her friend told her she is not what she used to be. she had change.
i said to her, you’re not change. just become more mature and stabil. well,
before she was this particular girl who pro actively jump in a matter in our
office. she said what she want and when she want it exactly the way she wanted.
but now, she become more quiet, even though she had no problem at all. well i
see it as a time for her from a gold cocoon turn to be a silver butterfly. it’s
not bad. it’s just changes.
it did happen to me. in my present relationship, there are things that used to be
now it become something else. i never put a label good or bad in what i do. it’s a
thing i cannot see, just feel. here’s something that pop out of my head:
Temple of Woods
Doom to me while I’m chanting these words
Hell to those rises up the energy under some circumstances
A blood-red knight came to me with his bloody sword
He said, “I have kill the moon and the star’s fantasies.”
My eyelids were cut so I never fell asleep again
They are sinfully accused for what the world have done wrong
I saw the Lord with his throat choked up as the snake explain
The glass winded stain leaves here for an eternity long
Reduce the fear will only bring sadness came to your temple of flesh
Like the man who received so many different slashes
In your eyes time is empty, so black birds flies toward for feeling of thrash
I slide down the alley that’s belonged to big white fences
A child is reborn to bring faith once more ruled over the mind empire
Stage of willingness tendering every angel’s compassionate soul
You who came in the name of pain controls me the entire
I was raised upon a slummy habitat so I eat every piece of my mole
Doesn’t have to understand what hell is or what is for
Just try to feel it from now since fate is dragging us through that door
I played upon my ancestors graveyards and smiled
There was the place of arrogant playing hard with another sense of mild
I sing and I flattered after you said all these words to me
What will happen or what it will be in our next journey of decaying
I build it with every wood in the forests in the world and place to be
Just sit upon the sun and I suggest you better start your praying
Because I’m building us a temple of wood where gods are dying
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