When people says: “friends are forever” or “friends never say goodbye”. Well guess what, they lied. How come a trust we build upon nothing, those memories that were once a reality now just a vivid image of the past. We thought we knew each other but the fact we never know the person behind the open door. Yuska has died in my mind.
It’s been a week, yes, perfectly seven days since we start to lose our communication. A magnificent 6 years of time where laugh were once a regular thing. Sadness we spent together in times where it was hard for each of us. We share it so glamorously through time and spaces. How can he throw it like dirt, no, not like dirt. Like air through an empty hole.
He is covered with jealousy and rage, blinded by the facts what he saw and hear, read and feel. Can’t see the real me inside, since I thought he known me for who I am. But he didn’t. I love him for who he was, but he just kept throwing dust in my eyes. Why? A question where the answer is just silence and unanswered prayers.
He return all the stuff we bought together. Once night in my working day, Monday exactly November 30th, I found my paintings that I gave to him on his birthday, the laughing pig on 2001, our pictures as the witness of time, pins, books, CDs, and one letter he left for me in that package: “…..I’m deleting you from my mind. Good luck in life.” That night I didn’t cry, just emptiness. An emptiness I once felt before I met him, before I have the love of my life.
I never know my parents since I was a kid. I lived with some family I never close with anyone at all, basic point is I live in my small dark cold world and I love it. Then Yuska and Lisa appeared as ray of sunshine in my small lonely world. I spent most of my times with them. Since that day Lord has offered me a new life, a promise He would never leave me alone, again. In their reflections, I see God, I see God in my very own eyes.
But this day has come, where Yuska left me for a reason that in my logic is very selfish and ridiculous. But I couldn’t hate him no matter what. There’s no pain I couldn’t take for him, because all my emotion is dead from this day. I try to move on, he try to move on. I’m hurt so bad, it began to feel so good. Juste avant toi.
While you are away
My heart comes undone
Slowly unravels
In a ball of yarn
The devil collects it
With a grin
Our love
In a ball of yarn
He’ll never return it
So when you come back
We’ll have to make new love
He’ll never return it
Bjork - Unravel
in this life the only thing that never change is the word change. everyone and everything around us could change any moment. it so saddening to realize that the person you have valued so much suddenly turn his back on you. in my 30 years of journey in life, i have had friends who are so dear to me. but in time i realized, that no matter what i do, i could never keep them to my side. or worst i could not keep them all my life.
i admire you for your being strong. you are coping well. worry not. another friend is just around the corner waiting for you to discover him or her. just don’t give up in looking for them. after all this life is all about a gamble. we always have choices to make.
choose to brave this challenge and will succeed. kudos my friend…
cheers… life is beautiful…
yes.. i agree with gene. the only thing constant in the world is change. be brave be strong. for that friend of yours will realise his mistake one day.. take care..
they both…right!!!i admire u..dont worry…ur not alone in dis world hving that same problem,,, the thing is you have to be strong and face it!!!…cheer up dude…
life is so great…
do wat ur purpose in this world…
Godbless u…
alwayz smile….
things happen for a reason… God won’t allow things to happen to you if you can’t handle it… He knows best, I know you’re strong enough to handle it… Just keep your head up… Smile… Aight? TekkeR, Godbless.
im just thinking maybe there’s a reason behind that goodbye.. u see God has his purpose and we can never tell what it was… even the angels in heaven and all the universe dont know his plans.. so just be strong and hold on coz God is with u… he will never leave u nor forsake u..
God bless!
Hmmm.. This is a cool blog…
Now about the entry…
Beautiful things are meant to die one day…
I cannot just say “move on” since I know it is not really easy… but hey, you still got… hmmm.. who is she?… lisa? well you still got her… and there are still a gozzillion of people in the planet who you can still befriend… yes yes not like the friendship that the two of you had… but still…. erm… you get my point right?
How did you get your blog to be featured by friendster? please visit my other blog…
http://www.monmon.wordpress.com
thanks!
friends are forever. u know, that was hard thing to forget. kaya separuh nafas u terbang lah,n lebih parah dr putus cinta. love easy come n easy gone,tapi temen man?? susah kale ye . mungkin dah saatnya loe ga bergantung ama human, he’s just a human. n loe hidup di unperfect world.
have a nice weekend.
evrything happens for a reason..,God wont let us down..,just trust Him..,and everything will be alright..,God will always be our FRIEND no matter what!.., 8>18
nice graphics, message,..bro!
dude…i know how u feel.it’s just impossilbe to hate someone u really love.im facing the same thing now.damn i feel like my life is worthless.
One day he’ll back and say sorry for this stupid thing he did.
Just believe it bro..!
Time will tell
Friendship, relationship …. ends… but the memories linger on. Keep them safe cos that will keep u going …time will mend your heart… time will tell…. u are too good of a fren…Cheers… life is short…
I uh… never thought of friendship that way.
my best friend also left me. just last month. (uhm were girls so its really cheesy)
she’s my classmate and everyone in our class knows we used to be bestfriends.
i still cry during the nighttime you know? and i’m pretending i dont care about her anymore but i do. seriously.
i have never spoken (or written) about this until now.
i guess i just didnt want to accept the fact, or i was just too stupid to realize what had happened.
and i’m still struggling about this.
i want to hate her but ican’t.
so i’m hating myself instead.
we will also back to Him,,thats a part of our destiny and our promise to Him when we was born,,that whenever He want He will take us away from our place…in many ways…
just want to share this simple thought: peOple come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. when you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
when someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need u have expressed outwardly or inwardly. they have come to assist you thru a difficulty,to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. they may seem like a Godsend, and they are. they are there for a reason you need them to be. then, without any wrongdoing on your part on at an unconvinient time, this person will say or do something to bring the realtionship to an end.
sometimes they die. sometimes they walk away. sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. what we must realize is that our need has been met, out desire fulfilles; their work is done. the prayers u sent up hav been answered and it is now time to move on.
when poel come into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. they may bring you an exprerience of peace or make you laugh. they may teach you something you’ve never done. they usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. believe it! it is real..but only for a season.
lifetime realtionships teach you lifetime lessons; those things-things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what youhave learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
I can totally relate. I share the same sentiment. sometimes it’s just so hard to understand how things could change so fast, that in just a blink of an eye some things are different already.
I had and lost a lot of friends too, but i lways treasure the memories
I only hope that my bestfriend don’t leave me, we don’t communicate no more, 3 months we haven’t talk 2 each other we only say HI and hello 2 each other and just go straight walking just like saying “passing by”
be strong ok…
i’m beginning to feel the old feelings i felt when the same thing happened to me. it was tragic. although good for you that you’ve seen Christ as your enlightenment.
At first i also thought that Friends last forever but someone came into my life and show me that it isn’t. The same thing happen to me also just a few months ago my four years of friendship lasted. That gave me a realization that friends cant stay forever, because people come and go. And if there is one thing permanent in this world it would be change. People are the most common example of change, you may say if you really want to be friends with someone you’ll accept the whole person, i do. However, if that person doesn’t welcome you to his/her change your friendship will end up dead. It all started with a little problem that we ignore but bit by bit it grew until we can’t control it anymore that’s the cause of a relationship to end.
I can relate to this, because the same thing happen to me also. I thought we really know each other, i thought we doesn’t keep secrets, but i was wrong. She’s right i can’t know all the details of her life but i just wanted to understand the situation and do my job as her friend. I will be a liar if i say i am not hurt well in fact i am, very. I cried my eyes out and now i can say i am strong enough.
I can’t just say move on, because even me i have a hard time to do it. But as what the saying states, when one doors closes another opens. New friends come into my life, whatever friendship i gave to my bestfriend before i also gave it to them.
i have already let her go and i have move on. It is a nice feeling when you can already say you have let her go from the bottom of your heart. Always remember “NEVER HOLD ON TO THE PAIN THAT OTHER PEOPLE GAVE YOU, BECAUSE AS YOU HOLD ON YOU HURT YOURSELF MORE WHILE THE PEOPLE WHO REALLY HURT YOU IS OUT THERE AND HAVING FUN.” One thing you should prepare yourself is on the day when your paths will cross again.
There are so many things life can offer you just have to recognize it. One day they will also realize their mistake of living us. I really admire you being strong after what had happened and the way it makes you close to God.
So Goodluck!
And as what the song says there is sunshine after the rain.
Be strong.
ei..know wat?! wer on the same boat..i did everythng for her but she just dumped me with no explanations at all…lets just be strong and be happy…godblez…
err..
love of ur life??
no offense, but it sounded too gay!
I’m sorry to hear that you lose your friend in such a way that came out inexplanably….to be honest with you friends can be varies in different genre….just like fair weather friends…..