I
cover beneath the image of my other personality. How he protect me, how he keep
me away from harm, only with him I have my own little world of comfort. I grew
another personality since I was nine, in a sweet-coated childhood, covered with
lies and invisible truth. He only appeared sometimes in my lonely nights. Time
where I missed my birth mom and dad, times where I get disappointed in life,
moments where my adopted mother unnecessarily packed my youth with so many
activities covering the fact she never really raised me. She doesn’t know my
school friends or my teacher’s name until I’m graduated high school nor my
painting festival competition I’m involved in.
Only
with Rainer I feel I have a friend, a trusted one. Sure I talk with God
sometimes, and he listens with me having this conversation talking with O’
magnificent One. He just stood there quietly watching me mingled with my life,
my relationships and so many friends. Until lately he showed up as emotionally
visible as the divergence between me and Yuska. He taught me since as far as I
can remember that humans are not trustworthy but I didn’t listen. I lay down so
low with them, play and socially attached until the point in time I get hurt.
My
other personality is so physically powerful and full of rage. Intellectually
brave to outspoken his wits and in the same time guard me from the world full
of phony imaginings. Where people only think of themselves, ideally have the
right to hurt people in their own way, easily break their promises and blindly
judge even to their closest person. He came out from the deep to just to show
me the true reality of life. That the actual rainbow, colors and butterflies
are black and white after all.
I
see people everyday walk, talk and feel like a walking zombies. Blind thoughts
based on simple conclusion can make them turn from what they believed in the
very first place. I’m not alone now, with him within me and I’m inside of him.
When I’m weak and easily bruised by human feelings he showed up as an army of
me. I’m sitting alone in my room; I never turn on the light, only my night desk
lamp. In the darkness I can feel his presence. So expressively balance and
peace as I stepped out from the world of bewilderment.
If
you understand of if you don’t, if you believe or if you doubt. There’s
universal justice and the eyes of truth are always watching you.
dammit
Amidst life’s “ordered chaos” and the myriad of battles whereby we may seem to loose more than win, there is always that Constant Being providing us with enough resource to keep going.
It sometimes shames me how He keeps Himself so faithful to us even when we seldom return half of this faith.
Be strong in Him =)
nothing
You’re so dark but you are not alone…
hu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu;
I dont understand… do you really have an imaginary friend, or a split personality, or all of these were just your metaphore….
hmmm…
I AM SENDING YOU MY EMAIL CO’Z I WAS TOUCH OF WHAT YOU WROTE…CHECK IT OUT..
GOD BLESS
SHIELA
Never lose ur faith in HIM…He knows everything of u…You are not alone…Trust and believe in HIm…God bless you.
sue it’s painful…reading about these kinds of things may be painful.
but writing about them is even more so.
but you’re not the firstt one to ever be like this nor will you be the last one…
dude, you rock!
wow…
hi, i understand you. what for that i took up psychology as my course ryt?
first and foremost it is better to get over of your other personality, well i do not know you yet but i hope you could do that for me. if you need help, i am here, many people are hare to be of help if ever you need to..
thank you for your story, it inspired me to pursue further studies to be of help to people like you.
eeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkk….
bear in mind…you’re NOT neglected, you’re special to HIM.
i think your so damn cool boy^^ and i think a F*CKIN NICE guy!!!^^ YEAH!! datz wat im lookin 4!! hahahah…………….. juZ alweiZ keep On RoCkIn!!
hey!! are u mentally disturbed??? ha ha ha….. im i ryt????
god,s send miracles everyday. u just have to train ur eyes to aware …..
remember this: god sees u, understands u, make things better(like ur name) nd he loves u cos ur spesial for him…
GOD BLESS U TODAY nd EVERYDAY..
gottttttttt to b funnnnnnnn…thnks to evrybody
Hi I just came across your article. God loves you, that’s a fact. Goc bless. =)
are you busted?? kip it real. .
well.. what i can say after reading your story is if u need someone to talk to,i will hear you.. GBU.. PEACE ^^
-Teresa-
sometimes life is not within the palm of our hands… i can feel the shout inside your silent voice and the longingness of hapiness within those sadness that somehow, you denied that its within your being… but chances do not fade…
creepy pic
Fuckin awesome bro! Along those lines, somehow you wrote a little bit about myself too.
we travel the same path. we are not lost, they are, i believe. if only they would listen to the inner voice within their heart, they would understand the true meaning of existince. we are all gods in our own different way…
haiiiii may i know u more??
you’re lucky to feel His presence when you’re down! unfortunately for me, i can’t seem to feel Him beside me when the world’s all on my shoulder. most often than not, i feel forsaken and miserable. i wish i could feel His presence, too, because i really really need Him now…
a great person is someone who turns pain into beauty…..you are not alone dude…cheers!!!
yashek…you need a lots of prayer…God loves you,even all people have forsaken you……..
whatta man!
hey dude, i understand how you feel, coz it happens to me many times, i have my split personality sometimes im good, sometimes im bad i don’t even remember where it starts but i feel that im different like before. is it because i lock my heart to anyone? coz i don’t want to trust anyone?…im lookin for the answer just like you.
I feel your heart.
For so many things that might happen to us, we still have reason to smile:) God will always be there for us.
ok its a good idea how far to continue that
I ever had the same feel like u. i was a bad person, lets say, i was “an evil”.
But, when i met God, He changed me totally, and i really2 felt His love surrounded me, suddenly He changed my relationship w/ my parents, friends, environment beatifully. God is not a religion, but it’s about the relation between u and Him. N u know what, He is everythin in this world.
Find Him,and He will come 2u, He’ll change u totally…
He Love u so much, more than His own love, He died 4u just bcos He want 2 cu save,coz ur so precious to Him.
God care of u…
your a schitzoid (forgive the spelling) dude!!!
wow can i add u….all he stuff that uv said in ur blog is soo interedting and real…
hi!
take it easy man…pause for a while and think of all the things that you jave now…remember this…you are not alone,and not the only one feeling that very same thing…God Bless…Peace!
you know what i think you should try to have a meditation for you to know who you really are….
cause when you let those senses haunt your mind you’ll never get over with yourself
and youll never be totally happy even if you want too..
helloooooooooo
are you hyperballad?
could u b my chat mate?
deaR u!!!!
woW!!! amaZe that i read it out ON uR BlOG..
Whetever is real oR juSt uR imaGine…( i beLieve that u wRite it in ur bLogs) i’m so suRprise!!!
nOW,,, i juSt kNow a boY tHat haV a compLicaTed caSe in His lIfe,,, — tUrN on “HIM”
bE radiCaL in HIM
~~uR fRieNd in HIM–Who diE in cRoss n aLive 4evEr in oUr hEarT~~
hOoh!
that is so dramatic..yet so wonderful.
youre as melodramatic as shakesperian plays, as hollow as ghost, a lonely yacht on a deserted island YET, youre as disturbed as a schizophrenic maniac, youre as freaky as Houdini, youre as spooky as Blaine (since you look like him), as ferocious as Hitler,..i dont know if youre telling the truth but it seems to me that youre like a precocious prodigy trying to sell his attentions, someone as agitated as a serial killer who rummages his victim rage with fury, or you resemble an earnest novelist who adores juggling metaphores and hyperboles..?
I dont wana sound offensive but you should see a professional help or you’ll end up in a psychiatric ward..Man!your blog is as hell as a devil’s euphoria! Peace man!!!
nice….
no comment d
nice
Iwas brain washed!!!!!!!!! hoOoOoOooooo………
check yourself men….
attention and trust is just your problem…,put things as if it will all turn positively….
socialized with different people…
godbless!
…humans are not to be trusted… you should know that by now
…humans are not to be trusted… you should know that by now
bro im not here to judge you or to say somethin bad bout you coz i dont even know you…but this is i wanna point out…doesnt matter if you are a CHRISTIAN or not…but believe me there is SOMEBODY that knows your thoughts,emotions,undergoings and knows u WELL…HE is author of ur LIFE … JESUS CHRIST…through HIM you can find the real happiness and the refuge you needed…im not endorsing a religious group or something but what i wanna say is have that relationship with HIM…ask HIM to come into ur LIFE..thats all..i really hope you will experience HIM…JESUS CHRIST in your life…take alot of care GODBLESS
j
oniel_castillo
do your best,and god will do the rest,god only knows what is right bro….,eventhough its against ourselves but we still have to face the reality,even our love ones are not around,and i think god has a plan for those who respects his decisions among us,and also admitting our sins upon him,bro……….,i hope my comment will lead you to lord,not to such things like evils or demons,bro…….it wasnt still late to suffer all your sins,and im damn sure for that god will help you not to suffer the life,make feel better,and out of temptations………,here is your co-friendster member tupac,reminding that all people has mission in this world,but all mission has an end objective,so that people can make a happilly reality life here on earth…..,bro………im tupac saying good bye and good night……………till you have a another problem against all positive or negative imagination/thinking,see……
ya……………………….
iam so amazed at how it was written.i am not a religious person but that i am a believer.persevere in your faith.God must have love you so much that still,you could be saved.
You felt like you were left alone to fend for yourself at an early age when at that time you were supposed to be in the loving warm care of your nearest kin. First and foremost, your, Parents. Hence, theoretically, orphaned. At an early age exposed to the harsh reality of what life could bore down on the human emotion and what knots.
Therefore, you, unconsciously created another person within yourself to buffer the damage inflicted by truths as you perceive them to be; so as to preserve the integrity of your sanity on the onslaught of what you felt like a backstab. That is, so you could come out later as what you really were. Not as what nature made you to become. BUT BE WARNED: YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO DO THAT IN THE FUTURE. For as time pass you by, the real you, dims and diminishes in its hibernation. Until nothings left but the unreal personage, you spawned on your subconscious.
You feel that whatever your foster parents did is not tantamount to what your real Parents did (whether they be dead or alive). For in your subconscious, they had forsaken you. Left you alone. Do not like nor favor you.
Yet, after all these, you are not at ease of what you discovered of your self. But don’t despair. For most of our problems and dilemma is “ALL IN THE MIND.” It is within you to solve this; for no one can. Except you, alone. Try to think of what you really are and what you want to become then believe in yourself.
Most animals shed their old skin after it become too tight periodically to facilitate growth. So should we, at least, figurative.
A child does not want to cling to his mother’s hand when it knows he could finally stand on his own. So don’t cling to the past when it can no more help you.
A raging fire dies out when it has nothing to feed on anymore. As long as you entertain any unhealthy whims of the mind you’ll never get rid of it forever.
MOREOVER, forgive me for this; But WATER seek its own level my friend. Try to remember that.
Alloh SWT is my God i am believe. matur nuwun.
it is such a pity,tellin that world is unfair…coz it is what it is really made of ..but not to hurt or destroy you but to teach you how to live your life…yah know what i mean pal,your not the only one who face such kind of life but everyone and its normal but it isnt normal being one of those who easily gives up…IT IS SUCH ASHAME!!!
Life is a methapor indeed, even more, an adventure to be lived. Obstacles were mere factors like all people do as they comes in and out in our lives. It is really up to us to sift and delineate things to give fair deal to all our life’s ordeals. Take everything in, just be sure to detoxify yourself afterwards. None can harm you if you believe you can cleanse it. I believe in you. You can do it.
i just wanna say.,,… ur not alone… do everything in Gods glory,… take care always Godbless you
God is in everywhere.. talk to Him.. God bless my friend!!
this thing reminds me of Da Vinci Code..anyway… take it easy man…live life according to his will..get out of your room and do what He wants(you know what i mean) you to do.
hi!remember you’re not the only one feeling that very same thing! A friend told me once “life is like driving, you must know where your direction is or else you’ll end up roaming around and realize you dont have gas anymore”. THats life! Think positive!
hey cheer up its not the end of the world…. everyody feels the same way as u do like me… it comes into my life that i think im all alone and nobdy loves me as if i dont deserve it,,, but i realize that even though all the people around u turns u down sum1 is always be there and thats out lord god hes the reason why i was holding on and i wasnt breakin down….have faith and im sure he wont let u down,,, its up 2 u if u called
aztig!!!!!!!!!!!!
nice
listen to quicksand jesus skidrow
iwanna b 1 of u guys
pliss add me up any tym
I feel you, it is so damn hard to trust and be betrayed a lot of times, especially those people you are so close with. But you know what?.. still, we are lucky, because HE gives us opportunity to see and feel these things… HE allows us to get hurt so we can appreciate happiness… HE allows us to feel the pain, so that we will know how’s it like and for us not to hurt other people like what happened to us.. YES.. HE allows the ugliest things to happen, for us to appreciate beauty.. if everything is so perfect, do you think we ( Us, humans) will still call HIM for help ????..
Cheer up!… smile, LIFE is STILL BEAUTIFUL.
I can’t understand your english. it’s too deep. but I like it. eventhough i don’t understand it lol!
dnt lose hope my dear 8s not of d world ok….dka nag iisa m always b here 4 u..
how do u make it so easy to talk about God..and all about His graces when all u felt is nothing but being betrayed..unwanted….hurt….or even crushed?
how can u proved hes always with u when all uve known is u were left alone, bruised and abandoned?
how could u still managed to believe in him, or worst even trust him when the word trust itself isnt creeping in ur veins?
me, ive already given up my quest for him…
long, narrow and desserted roads ive traveled in search of him..
ive looked for him in every corner my eyes could laid on…ive even searched for him in the most unlikeliest places..or in the most unlikeliest person….
i found nothing…and no one….
i only found out in the end that ive been used…
ive gambled and yet i lost in a fight of no win and all lose….
i was broken…..
wow!that’s what i could say..anyway i do believe there is another persona living inside us…ourself..just need the right time to come out..to show off..but dear don’t ever give hopes..don’t ever give up on Him..yeah Jesus Christ..and people who do love you..care for you..chill out..bless you..peace
i been afraid for years i also hide my self in darkness and i also think that im lost but im just alone and i never have friends or relatives to save me only darkess is my way in and way out and i do believe darkness is whre started and where we end but when i try get out sometimes and open heart again for god i finaly saw a small light even though its not enough to guide my path but it gave me hope and willing to brigthen light to guide me to my true path…………never think that u r alone never give up god moves in mysterious way u just have to figure it out we have many years to come there is war waiting for us and we must win by all of our faith in god give anything u got to win show no weakness face ur fear heal the scars and burrden in ur heart
CooL dude..GBU =)
gBu aLwaYs.. =p
Just Add Me On fs and messenger If u Need SomeOne to TaLk too….
Hey.. .Hope u dont allow all of urself to the dark side.. .U are rite about da world being black & white.. .U are rite about lies are in the air.. .Wat makes u different is u,me & I believe there are stil others out der havin different colours in dat black & white world…
ei,.,chill dude,.,8 may just be a challenge subjected towards u for u 2 be able to see how beautiful life is,.,
you see,.,we might see the realm of darkness n black n white,.,but sometimes,.,we nid 2 dig deeper into 8 to find d real beauty of 8.,.smile ;p
your not alone….im just here….
Damn are you some kind of superhuman being?
do yuo realy have that things?
Cool!!!
hi!!!! juz hangin around here….n i can be ur friend!!! if u need me..
ok nicze>>>>>>>>>>>>…………if u nid frend im hire and GOd also is der>>>>>>>>>>>>>…………….
Perhaps the world doubted you, but I’m not one of them. I believe that its healthy, I myself have one. One inside of me that who only can understand me, respect me and trust me. People are so hypocrite that they show you what you are expected from them. You need someone who can talk to you straight and brave enough to tell you your flaws.
I have one, and it will remains in me, I’m proud of it.
what…..
Hi ..
I am maria .. niCe To MeeT u ..
Im FrOm IndOneSia ..
Thank’s .. nd GBU
ei nice blog and i like the way you let your emotions flow.sometimes reality hurts and only few people can understand you.
im impress…
but little bit scared about your friend..
autism is a gift my friend. enroll in special education class to develop it and turn you into a super duper human..hehe.
oh my gosh… shakespere is that you reincarnated?
hrmm…listen to ur heart…we have the little functional thing in our head thats called brain to think..a heart to touched n feel…hrmm ya who else when we r alone huh?!…only god knows…thing happend with reasons!!..
i got ur point…u r very lucky to feel God with u…many people cant…use the advantage 2 seek 4 true way of life…when u got it, u will feel better thn now…not just calm and cool but u will know the purpose of life…keep searching..n u’ll find it right close 2 u…if u need help,i always free 2 do tht…
It’s really funny ’cause I thought I was the only one experiencing this, guess I was wrong.We should really be friends dude…Hey give me a hollaback…
Hey, it’s really unique, cool, and brave act to actually letting out how u feel and what inside u in ur blog. it’s interesting u noe, coz, b4 this i thought there r only several person got multiple personalities, to feel the other me inside urself, to feel safe n comfort in the darkness.
But, beleive me, u r not d only 1 who feel like tat. Life is never fair 2 anyone. everything got it’s pro n contra , just like each day will got night. People r d species tat should not be trust, but u need them 2 continue living coz u r a human! As long as u have faith, beleive in God, no matter wat ur religion, but in my religion we beleived God love us human n r near 2 us if we always seeking for His help. Maybe 2day u r 1 of those who r unlucky, but never give up 2 the world, n believe tat someday, some1 will come 2 ur life, lite up ur day, understand u n happiness will b yours, just never give up in waiting that day 2 come. Hey, wateva, u r cooool dude! Like ur way, add me!
helllo
Weird but iT’s tRuE!!
when i read ur story i was touch coz we have the same story in life but we are bless coz God is always der.And He knows all about us even the number of our hair… it so great that we have a Magnifecent God…
God bless u always… God is our bestfriend and our true friend… always stay close unto God and have fear on Him…
You conjured up another personality of your self because in reality, this world could be harsh sometimes. Everybody’s entitled to protect themselves in some way or other. Hey, it’s the only way to keep our sanity =) As for people telling you to go see a shrink, who cares what people think, right? You are who you are, this is your blog, and you should write whatever you want.
Been there..done that…you know what? When the Faith is there…you realised that you are not alone after all. Shallom.
nice blog..
wer on the same situation thats mhy i percieve ur evry thought…
its really freakin me mad..
Godbless
you are so cool dude…. so artistically said….. wow that was pretty amazing, having two personalities, what do you call that again??? scizzo???? (sorry, i dunno the spelling…..)
i wanna be you friend dude, please add me up…..
scary
AiYoooo…
i didnt know that i will find sum1 hir hus just lyk me…i also grew up with other personalities…bcoz the real me was taken away since i was 4,,, by people hu has the faces of humans but bare the souls of dirtyness…. i lived a life ful of inner pain and cunfusion since then.. i belived sumday these things will b paid for…
hi, just dropping by. read ur blog. I wanna say that ure not alone. Have a strong faith in God. thanks
actually i feel the same way.
each and everyone of us has his or her own dark moments,..and it is up to us to make a way to find light for it…i have mine as well and haven’t yet found the courage to tell the world about it…yet, i never allow hatred to rule over me.the pain and the fear is still there, but i know somehow, it helped me…hope it does the same tom you…God Bless.
just always remember that HE is there not just when the rainbow bloom its color but most specially when that colors turn to gray!!!!
LOVE YOUR SELF!!!!
hi..i rily felt the sad heart in u..but let me share this beautiful text..
i asked GOD. ” how do i get the best out of life?.” GOD answered, ” face your PAST without regrets, handle youre PRESENT with confidence, prepare for the FUTURE without fear..” then HE added.., ” keep the FAITH and DROP the FEAR.., dont believe your DOUBTS and never DOUBT your BELIEFS..LIFE is BEAUTIFUL if you know how to LIVE..”
there is always a new day..so live it as what you want but dont even ever forget that GOD is our friend and HE is always at our side..keep it up…
hey!i like ur story it has so much to tell to everyone,,i got so damn curious bout knowing u dude!!!i think u really had a hard way of growing up,,i mean coz of ur story, its kinda creepy yet so cool,,,but all i can say is just keep up ur faith to HIM and dont let go of ur grip,,,hope u dont mind adding me up buddy,,,GOD is good!!!
i guess that what schizophrenia is all about… now i know…
…
wl, wat i can say?! were in thesame path……..but just remember 1 thing whatever happend to us ryt now im sure has a reason! so be stong and be happy to have
cont.! HIM n ur life….. if seeing u bleeding and being DANM n ur life makes them happy then dont give them that happiness!!!!!!!!!!! cheer up! GOD BLESS
im sorry i don’t believed you.
curk
No one can harm you if you just believe in him. You just have to open your eyes very well, ‘if you know what i mean, sure! i know you know it.’ Man, you are not the only person in this world that suffer from the deep dark place “you called.” I mean ‘WE’ Called. i know what you’ve feel, but maybe not exactly like that maybe just some of it. Atleast i had. I just dont feel quiet good now because of what you’ve wrote. Well, just dont blame your past, let your forgiveness exist. No matter what…
“We owe HIM our once and lifetime life yet our parents”
even if they are just poster, remember.
‘THEY STILL ADOPTED YOU MY BROTHER. =)
-MT’
the true reality of life. That the actual rainbow, colors and butterflies are black and white after all.
life is black and white?
that’s life..we are here to
live with it..although problems maybe so damned..you still have to learn to appreciate life even at it’s worst…we may have something in common but hellooooo!!!!
your not the only person who suffers like this..there are worst stories and problems than yours so be thankful enough to be able to live your life at your fullest atleast you still have chances to make it better..the life you think is very miserable maybe not for others so think of it and might sometimes enjoy it…try to be thankful to all the blessings..take care hope you would understand everything bout life..
when i’ve read your article, i’m strucked inside… i don’t know but it seems that i feel the way you feel… I’ve also gone thru that dilemma, until now i’m still struggling… We were just the same, your family background, your story, the feeling of loneliness, the oneness, the feeling of having someone beside you outside the world of humans, the world of thoughts, the world of yours, the person, a friend you trusted, your self, the one who comfort you when you needed to… i know it’s just you and yourself…he’s not someone else nor they say it’s God… your friend is your self the one who comforts you everytime…it’s just you and your mind…am i right???
dont semply thank God dat u have much wyl others have little.thank him bcoz he has chosen 2 bless u & in return be a blessing 2 some.
God bless you always….take a time to your self…….
im your friend too..
pls invite me at frendster as one of your frend terence_cpa262yahoo.com
im sending you my email, not just because i was pity you,it is because i want you to become one of my friends.i was impressed too coz you are proud to tell what you feel.hope you accept me as one of ur friend,if you want me to become one of your friends just send me a message and i’ll give you my mobile number.take care and god bless you always
poetically expressed…
i assume u have a good sense of intellegence but honey that’s what “SCHITZOPHRENICS” experiense they would have varied friends from varied dimentions…
i would want u to assess urself really and say… try to seek for a medical opinion and go on from there….
i don’t care of you..
u must train u image 2 adder poaple…must be other poaple trush u..dont blam someone…………………..
i am of my two-fold belief that you are ill or just being psychotic.I understand those things written above.I had surely and extremely admired it.That was quite a combination of irony and self expression.Thats it.Congratulations.
gOOD self expression.continue doing.
i do understand wat u feel coz i , in one point of my life had been to that LIMBO, but just like others i come out fine after a few years of living inside that shell! dont bother wat others will say coz one day ur time will come & ull be surprised that it was great to be out !life is all a bout it so dont worry if they dont understand u , never mind!
helo
…..hmmmmm… we have d same fellings…. u know though i didnt know u yet,i feel something na ur so kind, desperado nga lang…… dont worry duds thers a ryt time for u to be hapi nor fullfilled…. only god knows what s d purpose of ur precious lyf……. aq nga much o’er p ung mga naexperience q compare sau…. pero na o’ercome q un….. just olways trust n urself nd ofcourse k god….. bear in mind olways na u can face everything or any obstacles dat came unto u…… what ever happens….. be kul, relax lang py!! live life bcoz lyf is beautifull……. never mind those narrow minded people na wlang kakwenta kwentang mgcomments zeu…. mga sabog ang utak nun…. hahahaha…… enewei cge ah god bless……. maye poh!……-)
I was lost like you, now I am found. Seek ye first the kingdom of God. Jesus is your personal saviour. His love for you in unfailing.
cheers and God bless you.
what happen ur eyes?iew………what do you mean?
i can feel how much pain you have in your heart.. so bitter..
but please remember, it’s not only you who has a problem like that.. some people have even worse than what u are feeling right now..
you feel that there’s only black and white but i think you all you see is darkness.. do you really appreaciate the bright side?
when you believe in God, you doesn’t simply say it.. God created the world with beauty. that’s for us people to enjoy.. but the world also has its flaws.. that’ s what makes poeple strong.. that’s what makes people connected with one another..
don’t focus on what other people can do to you.. focus on what you can do to yourself. help yourself enjoy your life.. life is short….
man,,i dont know what to say but what you are or who u are is really “awesome”!!!!
u know when i felt alone and betrayed or just sad , how i wish that i also have that imaginary freind like you got,but when i think about it,talking or seeing someone whos invisible to others must be pretty scary,,and being in the dark room wow..really scary,,but i like you being like that,i cant imagine how brave you are,,your the man!!!!!!!
Hi … I was moved w/ ur writings. Somehow or somewhere between the lines, I felt that same feelings w/ yours. I also have that same “friend”, I still have her tl now & you are ryt, I feel super whenever she is around & feels lky nothing or no one can harm me. But … I am trying not to call her when I am in despair … I’m learning to be myself & protect my own self… I’ve learned to trust HIM most of all… Hope u cud be the same… GBU ^_^
you only jocking around man
too many comments…
plus my own.. =p
well,f*#@k them!!
f*#@k me too!!
what’s ur point on writing urself on ur blog,huh?
so everybody can judge u?
f*#@k,who the hell am i to write it here anyway..
i’d rather watch the butterfly effect again,now that is awesome!!
i’m outtahere..
i feeel for you….we have the same case…i guess everybody has his other side…some sort of alter-ego…i suppose…but i can live with my other personalities…hope to read more from you….ROCK ON!!!!!
Come on, you’re smart dude. Go out of that dark cell. Learn to love and you will find what you want.
You are invited to the Warrior Group…find it at Friendster Groups, called the Warriors of Heaven on Earth…
lancer
you’re so weird.. why not just be jolly of life!! you may be happy with that whoever that is but your life seem so dull. really really dull. boring. you’re thinking too much about everything, care so much about the world.. enjoy. haha. and don’t take black and white too seriously, light still exist you know.. it gives colors.. nyhahaha
….your story nice…like my other personality..
Find peace. You will find it in God. Its like cleaning a room, after you cleaned it, it feels good already. Choose your friends wisely. Be independent, don’t rely on people too much, usually they end up disappointing and hurting you. Balance yourself, improve first you and everything will do the same eventually. And if you find life in black and white, your a painter right? Buy paints then paint the world in color.
your bad………………men////////////
nothing…..
…no comment…
dude i think u need help… i didnt understand everything on your article, but i felt that there’s something bothering u. have faith!
awTs! just talk!
it is really weird. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
…it is hard to find the balance when you are inlove…you lost in the middle coz you can’t decide…between mind and heart…
“__is the engine of your life
“__is the engine of your body
buanyak begete ccciiiiiii??????
membwat mataku jereng teu!!!!!!!!
bubye………
yeah, u got my attention dude! that was so nice of you! keep it up.
you should check your eyes dude, for your own good..
you just so religiously
if they could be like that, the’ll make u happy….ever after
halah……..
love the page!
keep it up
cheers
shakira
hi bro..
amazing grace how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me
i once was lost
but now..i’m found
was blind but now… i see
God bless u abundantly
Ley
nothing intellectual to say here,,, hope you see better days,,, anyway i like bitter coffee,,, sweet is always cliche, life’s better lived amidst pain,,, im not a massuchist though,,, hang on,,,just hang on
people who doesn’t have the HIM in you could hardly get what’s between the line,,, you birth a deep curiousity within to some, to others… a family. dude, you’re home,,,you’ve got a Big Dad! cheers!!!
well…that picture of yours is pretty scary and obviously represent a very deep darkness thought…^_^
that other personality of yours…he covers you from anything hurtful but still we all have to face the harsh of reality….it’s life afterall…what can we expect of it? just try live our life as best as possible….keep faith in HIM….He knows you…He guard you in unexpected ways in every unexpected events in your life…
cheer up….dark is nice but other colors are nice too…=n_n=
life does **** sumtim dear but u knw wat..THE LOVE OF GOD WITHIN U IS GREATER THAN THE PRESURE AROUND YOU..KEEP ON GOING HE IS WITH YOU every second!! don look at de world look at ma GOD!!
god blzz
well thats life…its really a bullshit but what can we do?im on the same situation with different story…and just want to be heard by not what we say….
hi,i was so touch of what u hve wrote,i wasso touch how much u trust him,even ur personality! i felt pity against u:u knw wat jst kept of wat u are now,coz i knw he will help u!!:i promise!!!i was really hoping of ur good life that even u are like that u can share ur life to somebody else,but always remember that he knws wats the ryt one 4 ur lyf!!god bless u==))
too much tv for u….
Violently Happy. one of the peeps who inspired me to write my own blog. i wanna know RIGHT NOW if i’m doin’ just fine..
Violently Happy. one of the peeps who inspired me to write my own blog. i wanna know RIGHT NOW if i’m doin’ just fine..
i dont knw how and y i’m needd to believed…but u r more blessd or vise vrsa,im more thn blssd… yeah my mother really cared me,she always thought ,that her daughter was all human ,flesh ever she known… but she doesnt know me….. cozz the inner hole of myself is not a girl… could u imagine how cruel and painful on my shoes??? i cant show my own… i tried to be normal.. like a normal girl.. i tried to have sex with a man.. but in the end… all i wanted is flesh of a woman.. can u talkd to him again.??
can u ask him…
if he doesnt worked an 3rd sex so calld “lesbian and gay??” y he allowed us to fell this kind of sin…
dont u even try to talked to me that its all our fault… coz…. he knows how i stepedbackd and trashed my other personality…. i do everything to make my self on his own wish… now uve’ pitty ??
y??
dont… coz there”s a lot of human being sufferd that fuckinholyshit things……..
nice………
haiiii naku po,. ,. ,
just believe in yourself…
dont always depend to others
hey..i dont know u a lot i just read ur blog this day buut hey. . .God ia always with u no matter what problems ur goiing through
God is always with us… Don’t lose hope… Remember that life is like a roller coaster…
Elow can u invite me/……red_08_joy18@yahoo.com
you are HOT!!!!
fuck u
it’s all true..i agree with 8.
i know exactly how u feel..i’ve been there..but keep ur heads up..have faith.. God created u for some special reason..i knew it right aafter i read ur blog..so please read this..GBU..
I am who I am for a reason.
I’m part of an intricate plan.
I’m a precious & perfect unique design,
called God’s special man.
I look like me for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit me together within the womb.
I’m just what He wanted to make.
The parents I had were the ones He chose,
and no matter how i may feel,
they were custom-designed with God’s plan in mind.
And they bear the Master’s seal.
No, that trauma I faced was not easy.
And God wept that hurt me so;
But it was allowed to shaped my heart,
so that into His likeness i’d grow.
I am who I am for a reason.
I’ve been formed by the Master’s rod.
I am who I am beloved,
because there is a GOD !
ok then..if u need sum1 to talk.. u can count on me.. ‘aight? ^^
hey,i just came across ur article..its really interesting n well done on choosin d right words n sentences..it lays out d whole picture really well..im sure tht many ppl do feel alone n forgotten…then again,we wouldnt be humans anymore if we didnt feel tht way,would we?
WhatEverz..
just be strong bro…
u have a faith in ur self..
keep it up..
gbu alwayz..
Remember this friend: A light is a light no matter how small it is! once you set it even at the darkest corner of your house, it gives its purpose and lets you see everything around you. So it’s the truth that we need light so that we can see and will not get stumble! In many times, to look to others will just give us disappointments and discouragements for their failures and greediness. But not all people are like that, there are also those who cares for others just like you{my friend). You know, you need the Lord Jesus Christ for He is the light of the world. Believe on Him and you will be saved. If you don’t trust me, well you MUST TRUST HIM! I’m writing this not for my owm benefit but for you coz i do not want you to get lost. The only way that will lead you to eternal life is to submit yourself to Crist and to Christ alone!! Godbless you!! I hope you’ll take heed!!!
MPD huh? your greatest enemy is yourself…
God bless u….
take care…
i’ve been there..
hihi
READ ME!
Your title is “The cross of Changes”. Do you even know what the cross means? The cross, in our day can be compared to an electric chair or a guy takin the lethal injection for something wrong he did. “The Cross of Changes”, in case you got this out of a bumper sticker or whatever, it exists because people`s lives are actually changed because of a cross, because of THE cross actually.
At the risk of sounding like a GOD MESSAGE, i`d like to tell you now that what you just wrote only shows me how
EXTREMELY PROUD, SELF CENTERED person
YOU ARE. If you think you`ve had it rough to the point that you go on ahead and mock my god, i`m telling you somebody`s had it worse, way worse. ANd im not talking about the movie if that`s what youre thinking, and it isnt me either. the cross isnt called the cross of changes for nothing.
I CHALLENGE you, mail me.
hellow,hi,bye
for Jazz:
PLEASE READ MY MAIL.
anyway it’s MY blog, i can be self centered as i could. i’m brain-washing you, and i succeed, ain’t i?
“basic instinct, social life, paradox side by side. don’t submit to stupid rules, be urself and not a fool. don’t accept average habits, open ur heart and push the limits.”
whatever there is in ur mind ..sure u got their attentions dude!!!
see u on church of satan
i have notting to tell nor post i just want you to know that the world is not enough and yes we are living in a world of follishness and sorrow.. one thing we dont have in common my child,,, i live in hell and my heart is coated with pain and anger ,,,, who is jesus??? who is god???? hahahahaha self rightiuse suicied and angels deserved to die….. if you want to e-mail me my child dont be afraid ……… child_of_d_devilz@yahoo.com
is that me? harharhar.. same story with me.. hmm.. just almost..
1. Consider yourslef uniquely blessed by GOD.
2.Do not run in panic or sit and worry.
3. Acknowledge Chist as LORD even over this event.
4.Be ready to give a witness.
5. Keep a good conscience.
In every failure there’s always Hope. Let keep this in our minds that GOD has always a better plan for us.
I see people everyday walk, talk and feel like a walking zombies. Blind thoughts based on simple conclusion can make them turn from what they believed in the very first place. I’m not alone now, with him within me and I’m inside of him. When I’m weak and easily bruised by human feelings he showed up as an army of me. I’m sitting alone in my room; I never turn on the light, only my night desk lamp. In the darkness I can feel his presence. So expressively balance and peace as I stepped out from the world of bewilderment.
i think its very good if u know or realized that there is somebody always watching u. daripada loe gak tahu sama sekali kalo loe itu emang gak sendirian…kagum g dengan “ur awareness”.tingkatkan terus ur conscious.;p
nys…nys to know that u have truly found a friend…a real friend whom i think will never betray u coz if he does…it’s only you whom you are going to destroy… CHOW! BLESSED BE
Wait, are you talking about God or your split personality?
Man, these posts are starting to confuse me @.@ . I think they are relating it to God, but I think you mean your split personality right?
Or maybe I’m just to tired to read it? ( Don’t answer that one. )
God’s mercy is sufficient and His power is perfected in your weaknesses! God will make a way dude!
hi ya,
i don;t know you, but i understand how it feels to grow up in pain. growing up being oblivous to your parents , and growing up wishing you didn;t exist. in a child, the strenght of innocence yields such power that attracts nature to intervene. you found a friend that keeps you company in darkness, i wish i had that strength, ever since a child i was always scared of darkness, bad things happen when it is dark, i instead, found my imaginary strengh in light, many years now have passed and now i have a great independent life, yet when i go to sleep, i still have the light switched on, some torches you carry from childhood and will see you thru the end, and the light i guess is mine.
Religion is just an illusion
God is within you, deep inside your soul and everyone of us. He gave piece of Him for us with a power of a whole.Godbless.
I do agree with Dennis.. I may not be exactly in your shoe but through the years, I’ve come to learn (and feel) these sort of things in one way or another.. so I also want you to know that there is GOD up there who will make a way when there seems to be no way.. just trust in HIM and everything’s gonna be alright
haaay! gosh ur face R shocking!!!!wat kind of expresion is dat!!
I knew i am not alone in this kind of world…
hi… you dont know me.. so do i,,, i dont have the right to judge you or to say anything… but if u’ll permit me.. one thing for sure… ur right.. there is a universal justice and an EYE who watch over us…… just be true to yourself… its enough…. dont mind other people.. its you and HIM who knows you more than anyone else..
Man, that was good writing… Hat’s off…
the fact is, it is not the way how you handle your self.. it is your conscience or you have an overflowing your emotional aspect of imagination… i consider you, as what you are bec. its you totally.. but remember always dont leave your other side.. God is always there for us…
Yes…if u have faith in Him, He will never leave u..God Love US.
am not sure if you’re referring about God or you truly have a split personality…coz you wrote so well that it was like reading a psycho thriller book..
b aloof of being numb because puzzles may get into completion once u will find ur love.
amigo, july
so many comments,
but i think the one real person that could make you cross those change is yourself. when we feel so throttled, burdened, we feel God, and sad to say we seldom feel His grace when we are jubilant…He is my best pal, and i know we are the same…so good to read!
so many comments,
but i think the one real person that could make you cross those change is yourself. when we feel so throttled, burdened, we feel God, and sad to say we seldom feel His grace when we are jubilant…He is my best pal, and i know we are the same…so good to read!
should be not like that..isn’t it?
the way u look this life is so dark inside n no tolerance at all, coz everthing is just based on what u think n what ur feel, u should pay attention to ur mom..coz ur attitude sometimes is kindda wrong..so wrong indeed beneath the truth ur face on right now.
Life is beautiful! But if your life here on earth turns the opposite, DONT WORRY! You have a whole lot of eternity to spend with GOD! Believe in Life after Death! Have hope. Have faith in JESUS CHRIST!
aloha.. don’t let your OTHER YOU control you.. God bless..
hi!!!!! I like it! I’ts interesting and I’m touched. Alwayz pray to GOD. Don’t 4get mhe.
i love the way you visualize life…we are the same coz im also suffering the same burdens as you…life is a city of melancholy…
add.me up at
fragile_angelXIII@yahoo.com
hi …
u can get over wid it…
stay cool…\
peace out…
ad me
bsamat.ram@gmail.com
ad me
rj.cuteboy@gmail.com
Go deeper in seeking Him… see things with His eyes… live the freedom that you’ve got in Him.. . you’ll find ‘purpose’ and ‘fullness’ in this life.. ^_^ Jesus loves you.. Hebrew 13:5, be blessed ^_^
I see myself in your words.
can relate with you
pls add me..how nice your pics
just leave the past……..u can always make a different….dont pitty urself never be down…god has plans 4 u…
a difference i mean
ure kinda freaky dude..u either need more firends, some stuff to do or u jus might to see a doc… freako!
God bless freaky doode!LoLx
Come to think of it we all develope multiple personalities while growing up. In the end we are a summation of all those personalities merged together to become one and then are we truly whole.
ok. I’m touched.
ow..that’s quite hard uh.. nice.. i suppose the development of our personalities depend on how we are affected by many aspects, especially our environment and how we are raised.. just hold on..it’s for you to get through..
think positive..
wahhhh………. hehehe so many comments
hallo
I thought I was the only freak exist in this world because I also have the other me living inside me. But it feels great knowing that there are people who living on the same way with me. Let ‘it’ live inside you but dont let it control you. You dont want it controls you as in Kevin Spacey’s “IDENTITY”, right? Keep on rockin, eh?
keep it up!!
thank God that we’re so special in Him,, so blessed that He gave us new life,, life with love, joy and peace within our heart and soul…
God bless us all..
i don’t know about it but,it is about your…………..
your life is getting dark or u have a something in your mind like hyper imagine.maybe this special give can teach u how to live in a better world.keep it right and be cool XD
talahang ang ganda nd kf,srkja;fakoermr
one can only admit the presence of an ultimate being when he leaves his own reasoning behind. many doubt the fact of the one watching over us..but its only him whom we can turn to when theres no way out. he is the only way…NO MATTER HOW ANYONE DENIES.its him.
I BELIEVE IN HIM.
in silence…
in the darkness…
youll hear him.
damn dude!
hehehe…cool pic…and cool story!!!hehehe…
much love and respect…
~kIT~
I hvnt totally undrstnd what u’ve just wrote in ur blog…im bit puzzled bout the charactrs u’ve mention hir…anywayz nice post…
sometimes…when we feel so alone we dnt notice that someone is watching. he’s the higher being in which we come to know from the moment we cannot speak sraight. at times when we find comfort in the dark thats the time when the demon has sent his army to drowned you in what you seemed to feel comfortable with… in the dark we cannot see…not even a streak of light coz we are blinded with what the demon trying to put us in. your words speaks and reflects the darkness you are deluding yourself. dnt worry u are not alone.. the higher being is always open for you to knock on his door. he loves u and u are special to him. so keep the grip tight dude!! sometimes being sane is insanity…
the road may seem dark but it’s up to you search to for the light…a lot of people think it’s complicated but they’re completely wrong it’s just simple as opening your eyes.. never give up you’re not alone trust in Him
just know he’s watching u.. weakness is also a good thing it makes u appraciate wat small things we have in this world.. even though u sometimes feel strong with ur other person, u have no idea that he is just feeding on u so that he may become u completely.. be warned!
wala lang!!!
ka2taqt ng pusang tupa
nyang fish…
i lyk d eye mohhh..
kxe parang ungas lang ehh..
everyone feels pain,desperations, disappointments..the world really is such a painful world to live in, but with God inside your heart, you’ll be able to see how good it is to live, you’ll see beyond this imperfect world..it’s good to have time to be alone for an hour or two once a day, for in these quiet times talking to Jesus, you’ll hear Him inside your heart, letting you realize your purpose, your worth..and most especially, His Love for you..
God Bless..
comment koh ln zau…wla,okei ka,tol..atig..katakoy ka huh!
ahm…wla akong mazabe,aztig ka tol..para kang si undertaker
yoU are weird.,!
niCe post huh!.,. jejejeje.,.
but hey! i cAn be yiure friend to……………………….,
ha! ha!ha!ha!ha!
i can relate..and i believe we have a lot of things in common..i was also raised by someone whom i don’t really know at all then..i think we can be good friends too..view my profile if you have time and here’s my number too..
+639219270107
whatever it is… well just be cool!
maybe ur lonely but ur not alone……….
hey,i love it… its such an interesting and dark piece,i can so relate…
Hello,
If you would allow me, I’m willing to be your friend. Just send mail to this account and I will respond immediately.
God loves you.
-Vinna
It’s human that made this world a good place to dwell, starting from the wheel inventor to the rocket scientist;the others are bill gate and boeing to name a few.What can we contribuite
Ever came across your mind that it is not your other personality? It may have been someone else or “something” is in your room… Scary post yet interesting.
be strong man…
YOU HAVE A D BEST INTERPRETATION OF REALITY
you suckss
satan is waiting for your answer dude!
sopot ito
oh my
hi to my babe..josh^^ loveyou babe…
hi its kind of wird ha…..pero talaga bang may ganyan? actually i also tried it 4 once….after my dad died a few days….
U should thankfull to GOD that u still hev friends who cares 4u (only if u consider ‘em as a friend..)
U should start to think about other stuff n other “people”..
Hope u find ur “peaceful”..
Hev a great life..
every word you just wrote is like a stroke of a knife in the world of reality..LIFE SIMPLY SUCKS! But thats where we gather our strength and the eagerness to find out why we exist. Lucky you coz you still have your two feet to take you were you are right now..no guts no glory, survival of the fittest and what else to say? Everythng sucks but your doin alright.–DODIE ASIS AKA WAVE95
Well, heavens s here on earth.. at least when u pretend it s. Who cares anyway.. our life s just His game.. nice knowing someone thinks bout his life though.. good luck!!
are you afraid to be yourself?
hello
Heheheh. So, there is someone nearly the same as me. Yes, me too has a split personality. But I came to realise that I have him “inside me” when I was 5 years old or so. But mine is different from yours, yes, he is physically powerful, but he is a peace-lover who always calms me down whenever I got angry or dissapointed. Well, I realise he is inside me when I was 5, but until I was about 14, when I had my first “something” (it’s a secret! >_<, but believe me, it’s not like what you might imagine…), that’s when I am able to communicate with him…until now…
is that really you in your pic
wahts that are you ok!!!
i was overwhelmed.
you’re not alone
now..im not alone.
keep expressing..
wat should i say??
ahm,,,meron pala 4 you not 4 ur blog…
your eyes,,,,
i donknow how to xplain it,,,
but,your eyes
der’s samting in your eyes…
and i don’t know wat is it……
well ala lng hehehe !!!! lol
hello mga friends..no comment
everyone of us
have our own purposes..!
un lang!
|– , |
heiiiiiii
You need help! Fast….
Hey Men!
You are not the only one who feel the way you do….Aja! You can carry that!
You are still very lucky!
Hold on! and come to think of it…that beneath the darknest skies with zombies….the Sun will rise and lighten up ur burden soul…u
Keep your faith!
you call that faith? there’s a difference between feeling and believing, you know.
Indeed it is dark but that is life. we get hurt, we stumble, we feel, we hate… these things make us strong in the end. what’s important is you get up each time and never lose hope and faith in HIM.
youre thoughts are exactly my thoughts ,i see other people and they seem like zombies but you should also look at persons striving to survive not merely annalyzing life .and one thing more you cant even trust youreself and thats a fact
Stop being so godam negative. There’s life around you dude. It ain’t like this is hell. That’s life. Even if you’re pretending, you’re still yourself. No need to reveal every singgle things to others, sometimes things are better kept to yourself. U can trust me on this one, i’m a persistent liars and fakers. But that’s me. My transitional phases is a neverending period. I change and change and before you know it, i change again. Being judgemental, ethnocentric, ego is always the rights of yours. You made the decision yourself. I Suggest you to stop whining and start kicking *SS! -peace-
hi may be u nid some one to talk to and ask for advise.. Godbless ^^ have faith.. Trust god with al ur heart, with al ur mind and soul.. pinahihintulutan ni lord ang mga problema para maalala natin na andyan lng si lord para tumulong.. kahit ganu pa man kasama ang mga ng yari kahit bad or good ka pa.. Jesus Loves US.. have faith ^^godbless..
hellow!!!!goro kausap lng kelangan m0h>>>have faith in G0D….always pray ho…..
feeling alone is sometimes just psychological…
be happy!
the worl’s fun!
its human nature… why fight it.. embrace it..
uR bLog was siMpLy aWesOme..^^rOck’oN^^
dude U rOCK!!!
nice written! keep believin and do stay intact..
I can feel your agony, your pain, so sweet that it made me bit my tongue. Ohh, the blood is sweet like a wine. sometimes i hurt myself too. it reminds me of my mortality. Sometimes I hate the human race so much that i want to see them suffer and the sight of their agony is like an apple in my eye.
…
nice…very nice you…
in the dark,,, i feel Him completely.. almost near me.. still untouched..
but i feel him.. almost..
and im unscathed.. almost
i feel Him in the dark
what a wonderful post!
keep it up!!!
tsk tsk…a man of great dept..
God is real. so real that it grieves me to realize that so many people do not know that he is…
But to those who seek, he will surely be found.
Even as he said in Jeremiah 29, that if we seek him with all our hearts, he will be found by us…and he is understatedly a pearl of great price