Archive for December, 2006

21
Dec

Noises of the Sea

The
sky is getting dark. It almost rain, I love how it creates an atmosphere of
worry among the people. They run as soon as they could to avoid every drop of
water from the above. It’s beautiful actually when you think of it. Some say it’s
the tears of the sky, seeing human being make mistakes that day, leaving no
space for love for each other and it surroundings. Color of grey filling the
caribbean blue beyond high buildings and telecommunication towers.

 

I
still sit on the window pane, trying to catch the breeze from outside. How
today is ended so fast, while all I did was nothing. Yesterday I just got back
from a business trip from Java to Bali, an expo tour from my work place for 19
days. We are touring by bus starting from
Bogor, Bandung
,Tegal,
Semarang,
Solo,
Surabaya,
and Denpasar. But luckily the company left us 2 days of vacation at
Bali before we actually flew off with an evening flight.

 

My
two days spent was just perfect. We stayed in Mercure Hotel in Sanur-Bali, it
has its own beach but the food was terrible. I wake up at night after the group
has gone to bed. I walked along the quiet beach, where the wind is just right
making waves like song from the ocean. I love the peacefulness, where the
luminosity was just moonlight and some hotel’s lighting. Then I sit on one
spot, just looking to the dark sea and think of nothing.

 

Then
the next day we visit Kuta, how metropolis mind combine with beach atmosphere
creates something that unnecessarily materialistic. I saw the bombing site, Legian.
And then we went to Tanah Lot, it was mystically beautiful. A Pure (a Hindu
temple) built centuries ago above the sea surface, with caves beneath it. I
walked to the hollow walls, where there are no people there. Small crab walking
around and other sea creatures are there too.

 

But
what I felt was something extraordinary. A feeling of big, with crashing sound
of the waves to the temple walls and the water filling my bare feet. The rocks were full of sea weed, like a green
carpet before the sea. The sun is burning my skin although I put sunscreen
before I went there.
Bought myself some souvenirs before I get back to Jakarta and tattooing
both arms. What I got from the trip was
just something a human can be thankful of. When it emerge with a sense of great
and being small as a part of the universe. How suddenly my mind is crystal
clear and creating a stronger level of consciousness of life.
Sea

 

 

 

I go through all this

Before you wake up

So I can feel happier

To be safe up here with you

 

Bjork

10
Dec

My Ear Can See You, My Heart Can Hear You

 

i enjoy my moments of loneliness.
it’s been a month since i didn’t really talk or hang out with anyone. no more
"best friend" or "soul mate" in my life chapter. a vivid
imagination of what my Creator left me is everything but trust. simplified by
my early mature age, pushed by each painful episode in my life. i understand
everything that every time i met each new person, process of getting to know
with each other and choose will that person be our future or move on and find
the right one along the way.

 

many of you taught me to put my
trust to God, i dunno which God do u refer me to, either that Jesus, Mohammad
or the great Buddha. my relation with my Creator are indestructible, no matter
how i ran from it, or hate it with all my heart. it’s still a part of who i am.
like the teaching of Jesus, to sacrifice our life for the greater good of
others. or how Siddharta Gautama sat under a Bodhi tree and think that he want
to end all of human suffering. i am truly thankful for all the time u spent
writing to me and try to make me feel a little happier.

 

but it’s not up to you. i learn
my lesson, maybe I’m not the brightest apple on the tree, but this is
enlightenment. it doesn’t scare me at all, what people think about me or hate
me for who i am. i can say no to hope, i can say no to happiness. it doesn’t
frightened me at all. i can make people jump off roof, going crazy in a middle
of nowhere and dance like a madman.
See

 

this time around it’s like i
almost seen it all. from the great wall of China to the top of Eiffel tower.
from the sweet sunrise of Borobudur temple to
the mysterious life below the Atlantic sea. i choose to be this way and it
makes me happy in a level of my convenience. i don’t go to parties too often, i
work more longer hours than before and put my focus in getting that art
scholarship to Europe.

i consider myself a loner now. another process i must go
through. and when i know the meaning of it (or maybe it’s just another
coincidence) i move on to another chapter of life. until i find my seventh Chakra,
where life is just a pure solid mind.