It’s been a while since I wrote my journal.
An empty heart full of thoughts, raging back and forth in my empty head. I don’t know where to start with, I learn a lot from my mistakes. I learn a lot from I did and say.
Feeling of losing something dear to me, paper faces I once knew and love so tender. He died and never coming back. Sweet Lord leaving me nothing but a new page to start my life from I have left my poor soul hungry for love. I have been looking to hard while the fact I don’t even know what I’m looking for. My boss once said to me, maybe I never really falling in love but I’m falling for lust instead.
My eyes have deceived me in many ways. It only show me things I want but never what I need, it began to run down slowly within my veins and pumping my dry-cold-heart. Too much talking just leaving me tired and speechless coz they have actually taken all my sentences away. My teeth shimmering in super mode along with my skin shivering scared for being lonely for the rest of my life. Ever felt that?
I want to talk to God but I’m afraid since I never talk to Him so often since that day. I have no courage in walking to His chamber and sing to His presence as I did long ago. My world now back to grey skies and yellow people walking in and out. I love being here but they share a hand to let me out and I won’t move an inch. Birds start singing for me, a song of Cocoon that make my heart feel comfort. “A train of pearls, cabin by cabin is shot precisely across an ocean.”
I sit again in my peaceful night. Where the stars just starring and sit along quiet with me. Forget all my works, my bills, deadlines and appointments, just try to feel my breath from my devastated lungs. Finding happiness I could find with every person I’m messaging with. And one day I’m receiving a text message saying his dad just passed away. A best friend of mine from high school, just two days before his birthday and he lose someone precious to his life. I never had a father, so I wouldn’t know what it feels like. But how come the pain is almost the same?
It’s almost one in the morning as i looked at the clock hanging on the wall. I hear nothing but the cold wind from outside. My graduation is another 14 days and it feels just the same. It’s actually my ticket to go for my long art-design study i want. I have no relatives or family left; it’s a relief because I don’t have anyone to worry about if i left, anywhere. All i have to to is work my ass off and focus to build my own gallery somewhere in part of the world. It’s easy, just need drop of my blood and sweat.
ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling, no I don’t believe you
you don’t care a bit,
you don’t care a bit.
Imogen Heap - Hide & Seek
life doesnt need to move in a dark circle.. there is times, when it seems so,but im sure there will be happier times to replace this dark image in ur thoughts.. cheer up, smile, for u will never know who’s watching ur smiles.. it does make a world of difference to others,so cheers!!
life’s like that, you have to go thru this dark phase and if you are remain steadfast and hold on a while longer, a breath at a time. YOu’ll see the beauty in the intermingling of light and darkness when twilight meets the dawn of life. Its a new day to start afresh,..hold on. Just when you feel you can’t hold it any longer is the time that’s a blink away when the tide would turn your way. Its a leap of faith! but there sure is a God with you now as you go..
well that’s life…
Well that’s very interesting…
Can we expect oncoming happy blogs fr u?
nice..
life must go on since the world is spinning..
really feel wat u are writing.. its a good write.. written with great depths and great descriptions.. definitely note worthy..
you are a gifted person, man. know that not everyhting here is made of bitter overcoats, you cherish all the positives you get. but do not let go the bad ones, because that way we have something to compare otherwise, everyhtign will just appear messed up.
Hello!!You are very talented..Just be HAPPY..Don’t let depressing circumstances affect your outlook in life…OK??Like Peter Pan Said…THINK OF HAPPY THOUGHTS..OK?
You look great…
so admiring that you caught my attention…
Well,that’s life!!But u should appreciate what u have! Even if ur circumstances are troubling and ur prospects slim, when u begin to see and appreciate the richness around u,u will almost certainly find that u have a great deal more to be happy about than u once imagined…
Put your trust in Him-owez! He’ll guide your path… Jez keep da positive attitude a lil’ more high-and u’ll begin to see and appreciate the beautitul thingys in life~ Cheer up, ya? [n_n]v
“…spread the joy, share the grief…”
u r blessed by God~
ur lucky man!!!i know you’ll cheer up.all of us experience that,but not the same time…you are talented.wish i could write somethin like it!
Nice,wat emotional anguish. But I rily like the way u express ur psyche there
hi………………
wow…shocking and made me loosing my head for a while… but life aint that bad baby…..
life is up n down ..u gotta go with tht..
nothing much to say..,
everybody hv their own sad, depressed story..,juz staying strong,be optimistic and have faith in Him..u can do it ma dear..
Try to look on the bright side of life….dude. Get some life…Its not always that we get what we need, cherish with what we have…Be happy & take things positively….
Your blog caught my attention.. While reading it I really felt your loneliness.. Sometimes life is so unfair.. But it’s ok, it’s been unfair to all of us.. I admire your courage to say or write and tell the whole world what you feel that moment. Not everyone has the courage to show what they felt.. It’s much lot easier to pretend that you’re happy and complete than to admit that your empty inside. Well.. I’m not in the right position to say what you should do.. But I hope you will at least think about it.. . Life is beautiful if you know how to play it right. Live your life to the fullest. And believe in HIM.
Godbless
i dont know it’s a life!!thAt’s gREat…
well that’life enjoy be thankfull to god be real
KEREN
love u
life is adventuruos, lots of loneliness and sometimes full of hapiness, their is a sorrow and pain to be felt and loved that showed by others to you, what else can i say just enjoy it and be thankful to it.
just dont stop beleiving in our creature for he knows all things that comes on our way always ask for your guidance and he will lead you…
i really like this……
i was browsing when i stumbled on your page, i broke a bone in my leg then i hit my head on the edge, now my neck is sore and the forehead is bleeding and oh! got scratches on my face. that’s painful. next time ill be more careful in browsing this side of friendster.
“”I Can Relate…anyways…”".
Good style of writing. I like your style. Very “expresionist”.
This is the first time I am posting a comment.
I just thought Id let you know I admire you for writing. You have the ability to express your thoughts, then you can also define them. Slowly, eventually, you will be able to decipher that longing inside of you.
Happiness is a state of mind. What makes it hard to achieve is the way we perceive life. Look at all the angles and remember to bring back praises to God for keeping us alive.
You are awesome! Keep writing, Godbless!
sux
haller pipz of the phils
mzta mga life nyo
DAPAT I SEX MO NALANG YAN
they say that God ain’t around us but inside of us, so according to your faith maybe it shall be than unto you.
youre not alone just pray and be strong leave all your worries to our almighty GOD. GOODLUCK
You don’t have to be afraid to talk to God.He doesn’t judge :). Hell,I seldomly pray now, but I do know He knows every little thoughts that are on my mind.And,baby, you should let yourself be happy.Even for just like 5 minuates.It’s not a crime.I know you deserve it :).
*hugs*
its really nice to read it
the minute i red ur story it reminds me of my boyfriend whom i love dearly..i was really drown by ur emotions that even me cant hardly express the burden that ur experiencing now..but i do understand of what it felts like 2b lost in gods faith and even for ur life..same as u..my ex nver got a chance 2 feel how it felts like 2 hav a father..and evrytime i remember him..it hurts me so bad coz i wanted 2 help him as he face his worst enemy of his life whom is himself..but i guess its too late..theres 2 much 2 say but hey its not about me its about u…( just a li’l sharing 2 let u know that ur not alone in this world facing difficulties in ur life)hope that u will find peace in ur self..mind and soul..dnt be afraid 2 call upon HIS name..u can only find peace through GOD.. and be happy and thankful 4 evrything coz this is what life about.. LEARNING FROM UR PAST FAILURE…
elow…keep doing posts.. you can inspire others by this
penget hebat…pamer otot euyyyy…wuihhh..
mahh first time to comment here… jazz want to share this:
i cry over someone…. i long for something…. i thirst for love….i stumble everytime i fail….i crave for hapiness… so we’re not really different…you and me…and everyone else in this ugly and beautiful world……you’re not alone…
God wanted us to be beautiful juz like him and for us to be one we need to undergo painful process juz like a snake changing it’s skin…
the world is perfect amidst its imperfections….
for me…you define beauty…
isnt it a call for celebration.???
mahh first time to comment here… jazz want to share this:
i cry over someone…. i long for something…. i thirst for love….i stumble everytime i fail….i crave for hapiness… so we’re not really different…you and me…and everyone else in this ugly and beautiful world……you’re not alone…
God wanted us to be beautiful juz like him and for us to be one we need to undergo painful process juz like a snake changing it’s skin…
the world is perfect amidst its imperfections….
for me…you define beauty…
isnt it a call for celebration.???
Remember what coldplay told us…
We live in a beautiful world, all we need is someone to lean on (or something like that)
Im not sure if what im talking about is really necessary, i just wanted to say something, hopefully to cheer you up. Ur a goddamn good artist (i think), share it to me dude! hahaha
sad… touched.. move on.. live life… enjoy…
very good
hi
hi dude…juz droppin by to say hi..
ala lang
nice, indeed
at times, life’s really unfair..but that being unfair, the imperfections, the pain, will mold us into a more wholesome being…i believe so..
f,jrk
its too personal,all the things they are saying.
,,,,well its very interesting and its also logical……
hey bro, you have a lot comments already to push you up! don’t wait for the hands of God to do it for you. You’ve been in His bossom…that’s good.I believe you are still in His care no matter how dark and useless your life might seemed for you. Do not try to clean yourself first before facing God. He only wish for your attention, no matter how filthy you are…let Him do the cleaning..He is the only one who could!
.-~”~-.u hav loads of words in ur vocabulary..-~”~-.anyway,whatever other people say, may or may not affect you, but don’t you see??you have many friends that care about you,(including the people commenting your blogs)so try to move your attention to the people caring for you but never forget the people who passed away and the hardships(but try to stay on the positive side), because it will make you stronger.I hope this little message will be carried in your thoughts…
interesting blog. life sucks sometimes, and i believe its fair that way. but then, its up to us if we’ll let the not so good things about life drown us to death.
What you wrote was really amazing, to express your feelings that way. I must congratulate you. Life is life what ever it brings to us, it is only up to us how to deal with it. You can live your life by living or just by merely existing. You decide…
I know what you’re feeling right now…I feel the same thing too way back 1999, when my father died.Everytime I hear the “tears in heaven” song.I cried and I always pray to God to take care of my beloved Father.I know in God’s perfect time, you’ll overcome all the pains that inside you..So, cheer up! Live your life to the fullest..!
i like the way u wrote…
you perhaps missed your target in life, even if we haven’t seen our biological father, you can rest assure that you had a Father in Heaven. It takes a little faith to come to Him(JESUS CHRIST), its only thru faith and humbleness from our mistakes in life that we be cleansed by our bad past and when we are cleansed from the inside, we can really experience true peace and hapiness in life. You need the LORD in your life..and will take away the depressing reality that we can do nothing upon ourselves without GOD…CHEER UP YOU HAD A FATHER IN HEAVEN that calls upon you to return to HIM…God bless you.. just hold on to God’s promises
hi.. what you wrote is so amazing.
hey you all fuck up
I WANNA SAY HOW THIS IS SO BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN BUT I DO NOT WANT TO TAKE THE MEANING AWAY FROM YOU. I AM NOT HERE TO OFFER SOLUTIONS BUT TO TELL YOU THAT MY HEART IS WITH YOU. THANKS FOR MAKING ME REALISED WHAT I AM FEELING AND GOING THROUGH NOW. LOVE.
Well that’s adversity for you. It reveals who you are and you sound that you are angry and depressed. Learn to accept and live with all circumstances. Be thankful and remember there is always someone who is living in more worst circumstances than you are.Do not try to be in such a negative side because it’s not going to do anything. Negative thoughts dwell into negative events. It leads stress, hopelessness, and defeat. Start to limit your negativity and regrets. If you have the faith in God, start reading the bible so positive outcomes will come. Also, you should read the book Best Life Now from Joel Osteen, a religious preacher who is postive about everything. Well, nicely written. Best of luck to you in the future.
xoxox
janelle
u must go on w/ ur life, always remember God have reasons 4 everything
Great way of putting your words together, I like that.
But just a note, if it doesn’t kill you, it will make you stronger.
well…you just cot my a-10-tion,,,u remind me of something!
can i expect somethin happi?
nice reading this…
anyways…go on!
ur hoooottt!haha
being brokenhearted is cool
be optimistic and not pessimistic,always look at the bright side of your life…
your so handsome
The first step is always the hardest… accepting and facing our own fate will allow us to endure all…
hugs…
simple_lover namn ako hnde mayabang hinde pogi hnde na mn pangit ang ugali
well, with ur blog…i learned somethin…just love urself and take care…
Amazing..very catchy!
I admire ur way of putting those words together.
Great work…but, cheer up man. Count ur blessing..u’ll see and appreciate everything that you have.
WAPAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
God is so wise to bring you such trials
He knows that you’ll be far better than you were before
He is Just behind everything
whether your end is sweet or not, He is surely in control…
i am so happy to have read this page…