Bra1n-w@shed

Most of the times our mind playing
trick to us. Well….to me, actually.
It can outsmart me in most ways,
makes me imagine what I think is right then output an instant fantasy to the
first thing that popped-out from my head. For instance, I have this feeling for
someone who I thought was nice, smart, and maturely responsible. We met, we
talk and everything’s was just right. Until he just crossed that line where he
just pressed “oh-my-god-i-never-thought-he-act-this-way” button. So it was a
major turn off.

I do that thing often, a weak
side of my undeveloped personality that kept on raging back and forth inside my
superficial emotional body. I frequently fooled myself by what people called
“signs of nature” or probably just misinterpreted it to my own
imagination…haha. Let’s just simplify things the way of how our body got
attracted to someone else:

So, the fact that love, that mystical, elusive thing, rides on the back
of science may come as a bit of a shock. But the fact that chemistry may well
hold the reins to attraction and love shouldn’t come as such a surprise. Why do
you think two people who click are said to have chemistry? Chemistry is present
in all biological processes which control our lives; why should love, arguably
the very reason for living, be exempt?

Scientists have recently been investigating the chemistry of love and a
little molecule called phenylethylamine (PEA) is getting most of the credit
for causing initial attraction and lust. People who describe being first in
love as like being on a ‘high’ aren’t too far off as PEA is similar in
composition to amphetamine. Phenylethylamine may not be the most attractive of
names, but think how many poets, authors and philosophers it has inspired and I
imagine we can give it a break. The brain can be prompted to produce PEA by any
action as tiny as the meeting of eyes or an accidental touch: the stuff chick
flicks are made of. The chemical sieges our systems and causes all those pesky
symptoms of a crush: our palms sweat, breathing increases and our hearts decide
it’s a perfect time to start learning to tap-dance. Lust is also caused, in
both sexes, by the hormone testosterone. We’re in trouble now.

http://ifs.massey.ac.nz/chemistory/2006/MyChemicalRomance.pdf

See? It just how our body works
that caused all that troubles. We never really care if they were belonging to
someone else, how old are they, what lousy job they are having or what gender
they are. But for my case, I’m always having this tendency to fall very
quickly, by a simple talk or one nice attitude. Hmmph….I wish I could stop this
infatuation junkie behavior or else I could hurt myself in some point.

Then, I try to examine myself to
why I like someone who is better than me. I mean, we all are right? Either that
is physically, financially, emotionally or intelligently on a higher level than
ourselves, those are the types we looking for, for the sake of self development
right? Habits makes the difference in my opinion, so I started going to the gym for a change,
reading more books, talking to different people so I can learn something and
kept on going. What is for? Well, just a basic necessitate: I like guys who are
having more abs than me, because frankly speaking, our eyes is the gate to the rest of our body &
mind, correct? Its bullshit when other telling you “I like that person by
his/her inner beauty”. I mean, c’mon… how do you know if you hasn’t seen them!?
Anyway, I want people to be sexually attracted (theoretically speaking) by the
way I look. So I improve it by exercise more, make a first impression yet the
best they ever experienced. Then, I armored myself with knowledge from every
aspect of life; at least people can’t fool me then.

But then again speaking, it is
still depends on how we open the door of our heart to other people when they
have reached our door grip. My door is bit rusty with hurt and pain all over.
So I always have to try harder to let people in, especially that particular one
that can close back the door and stay in forever.