Here I go again, letting go again
all of my soundless feelings. I find comfort here coz I know what I have lost,
it is myself. Ever since I’m giving in to someone I love so much I knew from
that moment I must leave my ego behind. Even though they’re leaving marks, I
always believe its worth to fighting for.
He made my cry again last night,
I can see myself in peaceful pain. With all the unspoken lies, covered in sweet
words and blinded justice. Cannot reckon how many times he leaves me with scars
that only time can heal and one small hope to hold on to. Life has revolve me
into someone with so flexible patience, very big heart in this small world full
of unbearable reality.
As a human being we all know when
got tricked once we should learn, as a logic individual we all know that once
we got hurt we must learn not to at the second time. But this time is so
different, like a cocoon the love has covered my vision and logic. Walking
crossed the line of insanity into so powerful light of be in love with. Like a
sponge, the hurt just sucked into my heart pores, leaving it back dry just like
it started.
But I realize how heavy it has
become now. He always come back in the sweetest way of saying sorry and endless
apology. When all is okay, when nothing erupt in our relationship, he always
think of something that makes it not okay. He said he felt suffering with
everything around him, I asked him whether that “everything” includes me?
Hmph…the answer is always predictable: he don’t know.
I just never understand why does
human running form their problems?? That is not the way to solve things. We can
run but we know we doesn’t have a place to hide. Solutions comes when we dare
to face what has been the center of the problems. With a clear head and a big
heart, that dilemma will end.
Only one thing I asked him to do:
be honest with himself. If he cannot be honest with himself how can he be
honest with me. I never can read his mind like one of those Heroes character,
the police guy. His Gemini is just to strong for my Libra. All I see is a
secret world kept away from me, he kept it so tight that not even one fresh air
can seep through for him to breathe.
Back to the first love we both
had in our hands. It always happen to be stronger than anything. So powerful it
can me stand tall with all his wind blowing so nasty. So devoted it can kept me
hold on my fingers full of scars. So glowing it can show us the way out of the
dark forest of relationship. I always believe in myself that this stuff is
worth to fighting for.
I wait for you until the dawn
My mind is ripped my heart is torn
And love is strong and your so sweet
Your love is bitter its taken neat
The Rolling Stones
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