13
Jan
08

Touch Me, oh Dear Me

I can’t sleep. It’s 4am and my bf
is lying on the bed, I don’t know if he’s able to sleep too or not. I have so
many things on my mind right now. I just got to let it out to keep the peace on
my little very own soul. It’s been almost a year since I got into this
relationship,
a promise on the starting of 2007 to myself that I will work this
out because it is the last thing I’d ever do.
So many things have changes since
the past couple of years and I mean big changes for me. I’m not very friendly
with changes actually
, but I gather my guts to face it and swallow the hard
part of it.

 

Dear_meHe’s nice to me, very sweet
indeed but heavens know why we kept arguing so much. We say bad things to each
other even though we don’t really mean to. It’s like the beast within are just
ready to bite off each of our heart’s and tore it apart. I’ve made so many
changes of myself for the sake of my new connection with this guy.
And yet I
never thought that this heart matters would ask so much and never enough for
each other’s.
There are times where it feels like heaven and sunny day for the
two of us but sometimes it felt like we never know who we are by way of our ego
leading to the dark path.

 

I was wondering is this how
someone’s in love? Am I breaking or am I loving? Because dear God help me, I’m
feeling numb here. I cannot feel anything, I cannot even listen to myself
talking or remember all the advices they told me before. All I can see is
another white pale ceiling with so many faces passing,
so many changes
happening, so many “me” I left behind the counter and walk out the door.
I have
been complaining so much I forgot to count the blessing. I miss my life so much
and knowing what is actually that I truly want.

All I want is just some peace for
my dearest soul.

 




77 Responses to “Touch Me, oh Dear Me”


  1. 1    rainsal January 14, 2008 at 1:21 am

    ok my freind u must get some relax

  2. 2    marvin January 14, 2008 at 1:39 am

    wow…hehehe

  3. 3    mkap January 14, 2008 at 2:00 am

    try to find yourself first and always pray to God….. I will also pray for you…..hehehe

  4. 4    ree January 14, 2008 at 8:47 am

    Arguments leave scar tissues.
    You’re breaking hun. Think deep. Is this what you need?
    If not, walk on.

  5. 5    Mina Luz January 14, 2008 at 9:47 am

    You already said it, all you need is to count your blessings instead… try to analyze your own situation. If staying with him doesnt make u happier, try to find yourself… Have faith in God…

  6. 6    paul January 14, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    all i can say is be yourself… stay with GOD…

  7. 7    atiey January 14, 2008 at 11:01 pm

    true love doesn’t hurt…

  8. 8    rexel caser January 15, 2008 at 12:33 am

    just be yourself, dude. do what makes you happy. don’t feel guilty sa mga bagay na nakakapagpasaya sa ‘yo.

  9. 9    Alvin January 15, 2008 at 3:48 am

    hi poh its nice poh thnaks poh …….

  10. 10    wynli January 15, 2008 at 4:19 am

    Asus! Life is Life don’t analyze it!Live it!

  11. 11    Randy January 15, 2008 at 4:35 am

    Well, everybody is saying that love is blind, for me it is not. It is cockeyed.

  12. 12    E R I N January 15, 2008 at 6:53 am

    bading xa mga ate at kuya…
    ganun talaga pag lost ka…

  13. 13    E R I N January 15, 2008 at 6:54 am

    bading xa mga ate at kuya…
    ganun talaga pag lost ka…

  14. 14    JULIAN January 15, 2008 at 8:16 am

    kailangan nyo pag-usapan ng maayos ang mga bagay na pinagtatalunan nyo give time for that… give and take… let someone listen and the other do the talking… kung sya nagsasalita ng bad words, wag kang makipagsabayan. mas malaki ang maitutulong ng giving space and time for self-realization kung ano na ang nagiging sitwasyon niyo… kasi di naman napipilit ang mga bagay… you’ll not only give importance to the relationship, but also to yourself dahil nahihirapan ka na…

  15. 15    Lisa January 15, 2008 at 9:04 am

    Hey, I just came across and read what you had to say
    if you want my opinion i would say that you are not in a healthy relationship
    love is about taking care of each other and never hurting one another
    it’s about saying i love you not fuck you
    sorry but that’s just the way it is.
    I would say that if you want to feel alive again inside your soul….
    just let it go, maybe it’ll hurt but it’s better you hurt now than later
    I’m pretty sure that you will find a better guy and God knows and has already prepared the best guy for you. you shouldn’t worry because God will never leaves his children in a bad situation
    god bless you

  16. 16    michelle January 15, 2008 at 10:54 pm

    be happy and try to make a better relationship w/him but if u cant take it anymore then let go maybe there’s someone’s best for u…..

  17. 17    Sohn January 16, 2008 at 10:47 pm

    Only you can tell what is the best thing to do. Don’t just think, Feel it. If you know it’s too much then learn to let go, if u know u can still handle this thing, then stick to it. Life is all about proper decision and learn how to survive.

  18. 18    jeffrey January 17, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    cool…

  19. 19    Ara January 17, 2008 at 8:50 pm

    I don’t know who you are. Juz so happen to read ur blog.. U knw tht u can lie to the world but not to urself. Dont do promises that u cant keep. If u love em, u juz know.. if u dont, u’ll be confuse.. y must u hold on too something that u r not sure? Aren’t u curious to know possibilities.. the call is yours.. if you love him, dont stop trying…

  20. 20    Jonathan January 18, 2008 at 12:06 am

    calm down and relax my friend u need some relax , u can’t be stress all the time ya know…..besides listen some music and have sleep .One day, he’ll know whats hell gone wrong with him. ok? don’t worry ^^

  21. 21    Mz MaKan January 18, 2008 at 7:56 am

    u’r so close to losin it … but i guez u do knw tat u haf take a breather
    life aint tat too hard … sumtimes we overlook d good in life
    sit back and relax aite
    xx muakz xx

  22. 22    Mz MaKan January 18, 2008 at 7:57 am

    u’r so close to losin it … but i guez u do knw tat u haf o take a breather
    life aint tat too hard … sumtimes we overlook d good in life
    sit back and relax aite
    xx muakz xx

  23. 23    LCM January 18, 2008 at 8:45 am

    Confused? Be yourself and try to analyze everythin..”slowly but surely” What ever decision you came up with, just believe in your self..Prayers and spend sometime at blessed sacrament that would be a big help..I’ve tried it several times. Sabi nga nila hindi tayo binibigyan ng PROBLEMA na walang solution..Depends on how we deal with it!! Wish you THE best of IT!!GODBLESS

  24. 24    Limey January 19, 2008 at 12:27 am

    your story above is exactly the same to my romance life currently. i don’t know how to get over him, in fact i still love him so much and want to get him back.but after i think about the last argument we had, where we hurt each other by saying very cruel words to each other, i feel the anger comes up in myelf. i don’t know what to do either.

  25. 25    Agnes January 19, 2008 at 4:22 am

    No relationship is perfect. You said that when both of you argue you all say things that are not even meant to be said. What does this imply? Both of you actually don’t hate each other, do you? It’s just that one of those seven deadly sins, namely ‘anger’.

    “There are times where it feels like heaven and sunny day for the two of us but sometimes it felt like we never know who we are by way of our ego leading to the dark path.” Alright, try to talk this through with him and find out why. Or you’ll never stop struggling. Take care…

  26. 26    Mary January 20, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    Few in this world can feel the peace and happiness they are seeking.

    Most of us are always only seeking. Almost there, but never close enough.

  27. 27    veronica January 21, 2008 at 4:12 am

    when i have nothing to do, I start thinking of you: When i think of you, i start missing you

  28. 28    Cahaya January 21, 2008 at 3:36 pm

    Hi, jz droppin by n looking at it, Wow! Ure facing a huge problem der. I noe how it feels like n i’ve been der. If u do not have any1 by ure side at a point u are reli stressed up, u can try writing questions, e.g num 1: Why its happening. How it happened. When it started. e.g2: Do you want this. Can u see holding ure partner’s hand in days to come. Can u handle it.
    It’ll makes you feel betta wen u ans those quest, it’ll help u bit.
    e.g num3: Do you love ureself. Where are u going after this or 2mrw.
    e.g 4: Or u can sit wit ure partner, take a piece of paper n pen each n write. Starting wit,10 Things dat both of u dislike/hate to b treated n 10 things both of love de most. I can bet wit u it reli helps. Face it, neva avoid probs, u can’t run else whr coz it will haunt u, if he/she is not de 1 for u,u gota leave for de sake of ureself,4ure silent soul, be strong, close ure eyes wit a brave heart, say “I Love Myself, hurt no more, i have a beautiful life coz i earned it n i’m worth it all while. Its not easy i noe bt u hv 2 put n End der. Period. But if he/she is
    de 1 for u, u’ve think it over, wana start a new life, den go, Bottom line is: Do it for ureself. Think of ureself, at times,u gotta be selfish. Cos u walk ure way, u choose ure path. In life, u hve a choice. Make de rite one. May God be wit u! Amen.

  29. 29    Jenny January 21, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    cool..

  30. 30    Jet January 21, 2008 at 9:36 pm

    it’s juz that u shud take a break,loosen up.And stil f you’re feelin the same after taking some time to think things over maybe, it is about time that you say gudbye n move on.There is no law in this world that shud bind you in a relationship that causes you pain and making you lose inner peace.I think you shud say gudbye,do it quick in a civilized manner coz after all you shared sumthin for sumtym.Do it now,before you lose your sanity.Gudluck!

  31. 31    Aileen January 21, 2008 at 11:18 pm

    !!!im just an ordinary person who loves a guy..that never inlove with me….

  32. 32    NABILA January 22, 2008 at 2:44 pm

    dear..
    we’re facin da same c2ation..
    it’s been such a long time i not been touched by my bf(i dono whether i still should call him bf)but,i love him-till now!!n wat i hold-s does da sun shines,so 2 does da rain falls,n yet da sun still shines,behind da cloud!!isn’t it??

  33. 33    she January 22, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    hi! u might not know me.. but just a piece of advice, try to find and love urself again before everything breaks into pieces. ;)and again no matter what happened if his the guy for you no matter what he’ll be back for sure..! he’ll realize all the good things in you when your gone.. trust me! =)

  34. 34    ella January 22, 2008 at 11:21 pm

    w0w…peace beb..

  35. 35    Leigh Anne January 22, 2008 at 11:32 pm

    you should talk things out more… but my advice……….
    never let the sun go down with an arguement unsettled.

  36. 36    Иeps January 23, 2008 at 1:23 am

    i have been in the same situation before. I know it’s hard. Finding love is like finding a home.. are you at home?

  37. 37    D i A N a January 23, 2008 at 7:47 pm

    hi,
    it hit me hard as i’ve been feeling the same lately.
    I alwiz ask myself then is love means to be THIS hurt coz it hurt so much
    Ever heard a saying, “love you so much its hurt”?
    i know, i’ve been there..
    so, what’s left now is whether we are meant to be in this relationship dear?
    For me, I’ve decided to leave
    which I will eventually even though I havn’t succesfully do yet
    If they love us dear, they’ll never let us shed a tear…

  38. 38    Merry Cherry January 24, 2008 at 1:42 am

    came across ur blog and i juz wanna say, i had da same problem wif ya.keep arguing wif my bf everyday..keep hurting each other from time to time.

    some ppl advised me to let him go but deep inside, i can’t..i know i can’t coz’ we’ve been together for 2 years.

    now,we’re slowing down and give each other some space to breathe and think about our relationship.

  39. 39    Merry Cherry January 24, 2008 at 1:55 am

    Analyzing ur life is the best thing to do..think of ur life - past, present & future-. When it comes to love, it’s not easy to make a decision.U will find the answer from there.

    Love is about sadness & happiness. Tears and joy. For me, despite of my tears keep streaming down, I chose to love him & cherish the sweet memories we had together.

    But u..which one u treasure most?

  40. 40    _mArJ_ January 24, 2008 at 7:27 am

    very nice blog :0)

  41. 41    archer January 24, 2008 at 9:01 am

    - scared? well its gud- only means u still have something to loose- if ur not scared anymore then ur just ….- figure it out

  42. 42    tearliner January 24, 2008 at 9:23 pm

    things are different when your with someone and your alone. things just doesn’t mix well,ever.

  43. 43    chat January 25, 2008 at 12:58 am

    Everything happens 4 a reason and purpose…..

  44. 44    Yhlshymn January 25, 2008 at 1:56 am

    HANG ON!!! LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL, AND MUST NOT GO TO WASTE!!! IN EVERY STORM IN YOUR LIFE, IM SURE SUN WILL SHINE ABOVE YOU FOR better tomorrow:
    lpjphil@yahoo.com

  45. 45    lory January 25, 2008 at 5:55 am

    oh hi. i think the only solution to ur problem is give time and space, prayers, and of course ikw din ang makasolve nyan. when your struggling ,try to focus and think of good ways how to help you . , think if all what happeneds to you now will help you or not. if not help you or if you cannot bear it anymore …hnd mo na kaya. try not to hold on to him.or else try to talk with him . kung ano makabuti sau duon ka, pero kung nagkakasakitan lng man kau.. oh dude avoid muna!!! it just make you weak and gave a lots of stressed to u. keep on praying and ask sign, ask what could be the best for you.God bless

  46. 46    Eveian jaemy January 25, 2008 at 9:57 pm

    i’ve read your blog,, i dont know if im going to be sad ror angry about it,, i saw myself 2 years before,,after the last part of it,, you know what, we’re in the same condition before i was able to get free myself in a relationship that feels like hell,, it’s almst 4 years tat i’ve waited to be free,, i’m so sorry for you,, i just want u to knw that after i got back my life ang myself again,, it’s like reborn for me,, i hope you can feel it son,,

  47. 47    Opel January 26, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    whatever!

  48. 48    philip January 26, 2008 at 11:29 pm

    chill out f he’s not doing the first move well then do it first touch him caress him or fuck him hard

  49. 49    keYneNz January 27, 2008 at 5:53 am

    hyeee…take ur time to relax keh..i know how u feel..

  50. 50    Divina January 28, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    ..i can relate in your story. just as me before..what i did is i just keep in touch to him(god). Kaya mo yan!

  51. 51    i m O e B January 28, 2008 at 9:57 pm

    AHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    AAAHAHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAHAHAH
    AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH

  52. 52    april January 29, 2008 at 12:07 am

    when i read your blog, i realize that what am i reading is same with my story right now..i know it’s so hard to move on. just pray always..put on your mind that God is always with us.Godbless

  53. 53    marleen January 29, 2008 at 10:29 am

    so i am! its really hard to accept that were involving in such situation! but we need to move on and face the things in our life! we must enjoy life eventhough we are hurting.
    take a look around u, there is something waiting, a good chance! look up and always ask his guidance and blessings!

  54. 54    monique January 29, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    try to find your luck to someone, something new!!!!!

  55. 55    Izz January 29, 2008 at 8:31 pm

    It’s fRom me..(friend)
    maybe it just because u don’t really know about seLf..?
    Actually i am a poor person… so many tHing i faced be4..but i am just be patianT..I know God Love mE..thats y..God taste me… belive me..

  56. 56    aLa January 30, 2008 at 3:15 am

    Why is it that we always seem to remember the things we want to forget, and forget the things we want to remember.? Why do people throw stones in glass houses? And why does it hurt so much when our hearts have been broken? Its hard to explain the unexplainable, but we try.

  57. 57    talented ripley January 30, 2008 at 7:56 am

    hey, been a while right?
    ah, this love life and relationship thing is such a disaster

  58. 58    damz January 30, 2008 at 6:00 pm

    great blog this is damz of klench_kiss@yahoo.com

  59. 59    Retta January 30, 2008 at 11:35 pm

    every one said love is blind but for me it must see in the dark so you can find a right person for your own good

  60. 60    ruby January 31, 2008 at 8:43 am

    the space u are asking for cud give you the answer if you should go on or give up ur relationship.. hope u’ll be happy whatever decision u’ve got. Goodluck.

  61. 61    may January 31, 2008 at 9:24 am

    wow! nice thoughts… u can do it! actually we’re almost the same… u just needed space to figure out things…ü

  62. 62    Sunday January 31, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    Be at peace with yourself and with God. Thats what you need.

  63. 63    Debby January 31, 2008 at 9:57 pm

    Why does relationship so hard? ‘cos being ALONE is harder….. Just HANG ON….

  64. 64    chinny February 1, 2008 at 2:58 pm

  65. 65    Nur February 1, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    opps…sry wrong person…..unknown….

  66. 66    JaNe February 1, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    just follow watz in ur heart!!! kept praying…

  67. 67    heru February 2, 2008 at 4:08 am

    are u a nice fren

  68. 68    cristina February 2, 2008 at 9:24 pm

    No relationship is perfect. You said that when both of you argue you all say things that are not even meant to be said. What does this imply? Both of you actually don’t hate each other, do you? It’s just that one of those seven deadly sins, namely ‘anger’.

    “There are times where it feels like heaven and sunny day for the two of us but sometimes it felt like we never know who we are by way of our ego leading to the dark path.” Alright, try to talk this through with him and find out why. Or you’ll never stop struggling. Take care…

  69. 69    Rhina February 3, 2008 at 4:00 am

    hi, well all i can say is get some space to think things over, to know what u really want and to figure out what was your true feelings…because u can’t be holding on with something that makes u more confused or keep changing u… Girl, stop being someone else to please someone because if that person can’t accept u from what & who u are then the hell…. TRUE LOVE NEVER ask for any conditions it will continue to grow, understands and accept u the way u are… And another thing believe in yourself, have faith in God and never let go of that faith and everything will be alright :-)

  70. 70    diaNnE February 3, 2008 at 6:02 am

    “Because dear God help me, I’m feeling numb here. I cannot feel anything, I cannot even listen to myself talking or remember all the advices they told me before. All I can see is another white pale ceiling with so many faces passing, so many changes happening, so many “me” I left behind the counter and walk out the door. I have been complaining so much I forgot to count the blessing. I miss my life so much and knowing what is actually that I truly want.

    All I want is just some peace for my dearest soul.”

    OMG, its like you were saying what my heart feels… i feel i’ve left myself behind and i miss ME… its nice to know that somebody understands… thanks…

  71. 71    julie February 3, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    God won’t give us test if we can’t handle it.Your problem is just one of God’s test to you on how you handle your life.If you do have faith on him you couldn’t lost hope.problem is a part of our life;just hold on,be brave enough to face any challenge that may come into your life.Just don’t forget to pray and asked help to our creator.

  72. 72    Thesa February 4, 2008 at 5:06 am

    I don’t know what to say, but I can tell you that everythings is gonna be okay as long as you believe. ciao!!!

  73. 73    Fely February 4, 2008 at 7:39 am

    haaayyyy, so many comments to read. i was clicking my mouse of something but i don’t know what happened and, presto… your blog appeared. anyway, as i’m reading your story… i felt so bad coz there’s some part that i think it’s happening to me too. and as i’m scrolling down, ang dami pala natin na may ganong experience… kakaloka huh!
    thank you na rin sayo kase kahit pano may mga advices sa mga comments, and honestly, wala akong ma i advice eh, well, actually, i have a lots of advices to share, but i guess those comments were enough and infact i’m picking some.
    Basta, let’s just pray na lang, let’s ask God a sort of WISDOM to accept things that we cannot change.

    i’ll pray for you and pray for me din ha.

    God bless>

  74. 74    OldSkoolX February 4, 2008 at 8:05 am

    Owh baby… Hope u’re feeling better by now.

  75. 75    Map February 4, 2008 at 9:19 pm

    u noe buddy? nobody u shud ask other than ursef. i used 2 b like u b4, n i really regretted it. id keep listeng 2 people bout evrthg n as a result im feel sux. i realy noe ur feelin rite now. it juz like u really love him but u need 2 let that feelin go.. think twice. actualy u r duin good. juz give both of some more time…

  76. 76    aNirAzC iEm March 15, 2008 at 4:08 am

    you now what.. it’s just the same feeling that i have for now… the feeling that it seems i don’t know myself anymore…what i want, what i love or who really i am… i have made a lot of gap between me and friends as well as my brother because of i tried to please him but like you i’m losing myself here… i don;t know if up when i can stay here it just that i’m waiting for someone to push me to the clift and totally let go….i really admire your works…

  77. 77    Ced April 4, 2008 at 4:03 am

    I think i fell in love with this piece.. Wow.. thank you soo much.. This blog inspired me.. i hope everything is fine now..

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