07
Mar
08

Truth, Trust & Treasons

Again, a human child is picking
up pieces of his tormented heart. Down in a city of full gold lights
and
individualism, he sat down alone wondering if anybody felt what he felt now.
Sickened by the hours ticking and the time of waiting his whole life he wonders
alone.
Why does a heart that is so fragile, that is soft yet strong that is
supposed to be the same weight, the same red and fl
owing blood through every
tiny canals is so hurt in his body? A question that could never be tame by any
scholar or any professor in this smart world nowadays.

 

We are being told that no matter how much pain the truth
brought, the truth speaking itself are
most valuable. I just realize that I
cannot live for what I am speaking now.
It does hurt so much it’s just making a
war
between sweet memories I have lived once. That’s why I don’t like to deal
with feelings at the very beginning. Pigeonsuicide_1
Giving chance to it was the first mistake
I make followed by illusory solace from time to time, trying to cover the lies
up. No, we cannot swathe lies with another
lies.

 

Dim as the light night gave us,
sour as the speaking words of a wise man, sweet as the moonlight shining
beneath our empty heads. I can see what I was and what I will become in one
glance truth told me in my journey through life. How can I trusted when trust
never giving me chance to trust it?
I told myself not to give up this fight,
but I’m just dead tired doing things that giving me nothing but wounds
and unseen
scars. I’m merely human and flesh is weak. I wanted to believe that I would win
the war in my head that I did not understand.

 

I used to pray to what I believed
in, a faith that never loses its spirit until the sun has set down on me.
Leaving me as a broken man with broken promises and an empty glass in my hand. I
miss the dark lonely person I left in the corner; he’s waiting for
a hand to
call his name back: “Rainer…Rainer…” Sounding of the sweet caressing voice are
fainted behind the closing gates of treason. How much more can I sat down here
and waiting, where nobody gives what I gi
ves or love the way I love them. The
world is quiet, he never answered back to the whispering I spoken soft into his
ears.

 

People are like strangers now;
they have the same eyes but see different sights. I used t smell the morning
flower breeze when I was a young kid. The rain just stop outside my
room window
pane and I can still scent of the water left on the air around me. It was
paradise of my own and
everything was simple those days; only I being
truthfully-unknown-blessed. Far away long ago, things my he
art used know now
are all being replaced by numb emotion that are shattered all over the place.
No reason to build again, no laughter to share again, no sadness to wipe no
more. I’m just tired and wanted to rest.

I wanted to believe
Bodies swinging from trees
Struggling to stand
With your head in your hands

Johnette Napolitano - Suicide Note
 




40 Responses to “Truth, Trust & Treasons”


  1. 1    Parsley Dya March 8, 2008 at 1:34 am

    suicide note? thtz creepy

  2. 2    cheer jean March 9, 2008 at 1:31 am

    its nice

  3. 3    니코 March 9, 2008 at 3:37 am

    your so emo….
    don´t worry to much dude…
    GOD has a plan for you…

    PATIENCE is still a virtue!!

    BTW! nice post

  4. 4    니코 March 9, 2008 at 3:37 am

    your so emo….
    don´t worry to much dude…
    GOD has a plan for you…

    PATIENCE is still a virtue!!

    BTW! nice post

  5. 5    raiven March 9, 2008 at 7:10 pm

    juzt be strong..

  6. 6    Marang March 9, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    wow…..fantastic,,,

  7. 7    Jay-ann March 9, 2008 at 9:10 pm

    hang on!just keep in praying and remember life must go own.you’re not the only one who experience that!maybe its time for you to move on!!!!!

  8. 8    PuRpLe March 9, 2008 at 9:36 pm

    life must go own dude… move on and be happy olweiz…

  9. 9    sherylle March 10, 2008 at 4:10 am

    sometimes we just have to accept that what used to be and what you actually believed in wasn’t really true…we lose some, we win some…know when to stop trying to hurt yourself…sometimes our best wasn’t really good enough for a person we hold much too dearly to fight for..

    move on…life is so beautiful not to live it.

    find someone you deserve…enjoy the best life has to offer!

    nice post…let’s move on…that’s life…

  10. 10    DiVinE GrAcE March 10, 2008 at 6:50 am

    wow its so interesting your blog it cath my attention so that i send u a simple commit i really like a honest people they so strong to tell there feelings like what u say some people are lie pretending to be happy they are like wearing of a mask. we can’t really please every body.people have different attitude and values in thier life.

  11. 11    Tsar Entertainment March 10, 2008 at 10:03 am

    For A Change and to experiences something different please visit
    http://www.fisho-spa.com

  12. 12    NENA March 11, 2008 at 4:54 am

    Don’t give up. God Loves you so much.

  13. 13    cecille March 11, 2008 at 6:47 am

    sometimes we just have to accept that what used to be and what you actually believed in wasn’t really true…we lose some, we win some…know when to stop trying to hurt yourself…sometimes our best wasn’t really good enough for a person we hold much too dearly to fight for..

    move on…life is so beautiful not to live it.

    find someone you deserve…enjoy the best life has to offer!

  14. 14    ツ mELaniE March 11, 2008 at 12:04 pm

    Maybe the right person has not come yet. Or maybe this one is just another trial of you in a relationship. Why not give another one try? or if you think it’s enough, spread your wings..still not the end of the world. You are lovable,intelligent,romantic yet has strong personality and very open-minded as I believed. I’ve been reading your blog almost a year now and I think I knew atleast what kind of person you are.
    ” I miss the dark lonely person I left in the corner”. Why not rephrase it? instead of dark lonely person..try to be a person who could celebrate life even he’s alone. So when you might be in a relationship again and lose it once again, it would be easy to go back to a life with no more drama….

  15. 15    AmIaReBeL HaWa March 11, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    It’s beautiful the way you expressed everything. i can relate. There’s no word of comfort that comes to mind, i’m doubtful that u will be comforted anyway since to me it might sound lame.

    Please have some hope. You write this, people read it and they care enough to offer you encouragements even if some didnt even know u.

    Even from your dark writings some people feel comforted because they know there are others out there like them. Like me. A bit ironic isn’t it?

    Since your writing gives comfort to some others, dont be reluctant to share the small fire of hope still burning in them.

    You deserves better. Thanks for making up my day with beautiful words.

  16. 16    ashley March 11, 2008 at 7:18 pm

    ellow to all k blog….

  17. 17    IaNn March 12, 2008 at 6:23 am

    Truth was the dagger that had killed my heart and had kept me bleeding… but it was the same dagger that had woken me up from the world’s sweet yet cruel lies…

    Saying it is not of what it is; saying it is of what it is not, is undoubtedly saying a thing it really isn’t: a lie. We know it is but we refuse to look.

    Saying it is of what it is; saying it is not of what it is not is the reality we keep hiding…

    But it the end, no matter how strong your denial is, truth will always push you towards that hollow room… Dark… empty…

    It won’t let you get out unless you know where the key of the door is… A hint: it’s on your hand…

    > i like your blog..^^

  18. 18    carla March 12, 2008 at 6:49 am

    everyone has a choice in lyf..
    u dont has to settle in 1 particular thing that u regret,,we have so many choices,, and i know ders a plan for u,,mwaahh!cheer up!gods loves u…tc

  19. 19    vhinz_68 March 12, 2008 at 8:10 pm

    AM HAPPY TO JOIN

  20. 20    Muhamad hady March 13, 2008 at 2:12 am

    don’t give up

  21. 21    Bhebz March 13, 2008 at 3:35 am

    let this day be a new adventure, a chance to prove that yesterday made YOU better, stronger and wiser.. may YOUR choices today make a better tomorrow….

  22. 22    Bagz March 13, 2008 at 5:55 am

    Hmm…
    Your blog really catch my attention…
    God has a plan…
    Smile…

  23. 23    Prita March 13, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    You’re not giving up blogging, are you? ;).You’re soooo good. Your blog inspiring me. To be better.

  24. 24    raven March 13, 2008 at 7:36 pm

    ur thingking tomorow, bt,its jzt an think, maybe or not! its better!

  25. 25    ________ March 14, 2008 at 8:15 am

    medyo parang ganyan din ang pakiramdam ko ngayon…
    …i am troubled with this war in my head that i can’t also understand…lagpas isang taon na pala kong inactive sa church. hehehe. what a life.

    anyway,
    very articulate ang blog mo.
    naka relate ako.
    =)

  26. 26    siska March 14, 2008 at 7:09 pm

    life is beautiful. enjoy it,

  27. 27    MecKey March 14, 2008 at 8:06 pm

    the same way i feel today after a big row with my girlfriend, i think everyone’s stranger. Even my girlfriend have the same eyes but see different thing..

  28. 28    aNirAzC iEm March 15, 2008 at 3:59 am

    i love your work.. there are really times in a human life that one must experience being left in the corner and just like being hanged… just bare this in mind somewhere, someone is waiting for you… don’t lose hope, look on the other side of it having those pain in your heart somehow will make you wise and even strong… remember keep loving and love ‘tol it hurts no more…

  29. 29    Andrea March 15, 2008 at 8:02 am

    klagfkla

  30. 30    christine March 15, 2008 at 9:50 am

    I WANT TO EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS..FEELINGS ON YOUR ITEM THROUGH A SHORT QUOTATION……..
    “PEOPLE ALWAYS THINK THAT THE MOST PAINFUL THING IN LIFE IS LOSING THE ONE YOU VALUE. THE TRUTH IS, THE MOST PAINFUL IS LOSING YOURSELF IN THE PROCESS OF VALUING SOMEONE TOO MUCH, AND FORGETTING THAY YOU ARE SPECIAL TOO”.
    ALWAYS THINK OF THE POSITIVE SIDES OF EVERY TRIALS COZ THAT WHERE WE CAN START A NEW LIFE AGAIN WITH NEVER ENDING HOPE WITHIN OURSELVES THAT ONE DAY TRUE LOVE WILL COME, KNOCK AND STAY FOREVER!!!!!!!!

  31. 31    Ai March 15, 2008 at 10:46 pm

    I simply like it! Why? coz somehow, I see myself under the context of those written words…my emotions…my whole being right at this very moment.

  32. 32    cid mathew March 16, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    don’t dwell
    keep moving forward!!!

  33. 33    Connie March 17, 2008 at 7:27 am

    yah… have faith in God…. Move on!!!

  34. 34    Connie March 17, 2008 at 7:29 am

    Yah!!! Have faith in God… Move on …

  35. 35    scott bryan March 17, 2008 at 11:15 am

    lam mo.., wag k mxado padla
    sa feelings muh..,
    learn 2 fight.. ?! ok:-D

  36. 36    scott bryan March 17, 2008 at 11:16 am

    lam mo.., wag k mxado padla
    sa feelings muh..,
    learn 2 fight.. ?! ok:-D

  37. 37    L A D Y L O V E March 18, 2008 at 7:27 am

    but did we ever wonder why we still breathing? why we go on living despite the bursting emotions inside? maybe because we believe that within us we can still make a difference… we can better things… never forget GOD (we had in light) more when we are in the dark…

  38. 38    josephine March 25, 2008 at 2:40 am

    it is a touching story….and remember that JESUS LOVES US…thanks for the message i’ll just opened days ago…since then u sent…i like short or brief stories…

  39. 39    shammy May 17, 2008 at 6:56 am

    juz kip in touch lng kua,..
    wel,..nice blog ah,..ang ganda,..hehe,..vry intresting,
    having same filings w/u,..
    i understand on wat u really
    felt,..juz move on kua,..
    find ways to find wat
    is ur luking for,..juz follow
    ur heart but b4 ur heart,..
    mnid 1st,..coz mind is d one
    who decide 1st b4 anything
    else,..its 4 ur own gud,,..

  40. 40    princess jane June 12, 2008 at 1:21 am

    the only truth i know at this very moment that sometimes people are too abusive on their own self,, thinking that whatevr happens they wont react in evry bit out of it,, cause the possibilities are very clear, why fear of the truth when you know exactly is going to happen?? put yourself a thousand sails before making a decision. truth actually lies in your hands.:)

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