(Disclaimer: The section of this blog you are about to read contains content that may include explicit offensive language or sexual innuendo. You don’t like it? Get the hell off. *see, i told u*)
I was talking with my dudes today. How lucky we are being the male of the species.
I mean without no disrespect for you all beautiful girls and ladies out there, we, men the most egoistic creatures that was created first out of the powerful hands of the Lord, are truly blessed.
Look at us, with only one responsibility towards our dignity in the eyes of the society we are not burden by any other stuff that girls has: stress and pain on period days EVERY MONTH, pain in giving birth, emotionally fragile, pointless wasted time in shopping for a single item worth of hours and hours circling the shopping mall.
Even this, we could name our penis with so many different names:
• blue-veined junket pumper
• boner
• cock
• dick
• ding dong
• dipstick
• dong
• dork
• doughnut holder
• firm worm
• free willy
• goober
• hairy bagpipes
• hang down
• hard on
• John Thomas
• joy stick 
• knob
• love muscle
• love stick
• love truncheon
• male organ
• meat
• meat whistle
• member
• organic dildo
• ol’ one-eye
• one-eyed trouser snake
• pecker
• pee-pee
• pee stick
• percy
• peter
• piece of pork
• pink oboe
• pole
• pork sword
• prick
• purple-headed trouser snake
• pussy plunger
• rod
• root
• salty dog
• schlong
• skin flute
• spunk stick
• stiffy
• throbber
• throbbing python of love
• tool
• trouser trout
• wanker
• wee-wee
• weiner
• weinie
• wife’s best friend
• willy
• woody
And speaking about penis, when we masturbate we could name that fun time whatever we want:
* a quiet date
* audition the finger puppets
* bang the wang
* bash the candle
* be a virtuoso of the skin flute
* beat off
* beat the bishop
* beat the dummy
* beat the meat
* beat the stick
* beat up your date
* beef-stroke-it-off
* bending ya bonder
* bleed the weed
* blow your load
* bludgeon the beefsteak
* bop the baloney
* box the jesuit and get cockroaches
* boxin’ the bald champ
* buff the banana
* buff the torpedo
* burp the baby
* burp the worm
* busting a nut
* butter the corn
* choke Kojak
* choke the chicken
* choke the sheriff and wait for the posse to come
* clamp the pipe
* clean your rifle
* climb Mount Baldy
* closet Frisbee
* come into your own
* consulting Dr Hans Jerkov
* cook the cream of cock
* corral the tadpoles
* couch hockey for one
* crack one off
* crank the shank
* crimp the wire
* crown the king
* cuff the carrot
* dancing solo
* diddle
* do a hand job
* do battle with the Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love
* do handiwork
* do the janitor thing
* drain the monster
* engage in safe sex
* fist fuck
* fist your mister
* five knuckle shuffle
* flog the dog
* flog the dong
* flog the hog
* flog the log
* flog your mule
* fondle the fig
* Free Willy
* friggit
* gallup the antelope
* genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion
* get a date with Slick Mittens
* get a grip on yourself
* get the German soldier marching
* get to know yourself
* give it a tug
* go a couple of rounds with ol’ josh
* go on a date with Handrea and Palmela
* grease the pipe
* hack the hog
* hack off
* hand work-out
* have a conversation with the one-eyed trouser snake
* have a date with Fisty Palmer
* have a date with palm of your handerson (Pamela Anderson)
* have a date with Rosie Palm and her five sisters
* have it off
* have sex with someone you love
* hitchhike to heaven
* hitchhike under the big top
* hold the sausage hostage
* hug the hog
* hump your hose
* jack hammer
* jack off
* jazz yourself
* jerk off
* jerkin’ the Gherkin
* jerking the joint
* juggling the coullions
* killing kittens (as in "everytime you wank, God kills a kitten")
* meat with Mother Thumb and her four daughters
* knuckle shuffle on the ol’ piss pump
* lope the mule
* make instant pudding
* make the bald man puke
* making love to the shower
* mangle the midget
* manipulate the mango
* manual override
* master bacon
* meet Rosie Hancock
* milk the cow
* milk the lizard
* mount a corporal and four
* nerk your throbber
* null the void
* oil the glove
* onan’s olympics
* pack your palm
* paddle the pickle
* paint the ceiling
* paint the pickle
* peel the banana
* peel some chilies
* perform diagnostics on your ManTool
* phallic farming
* play a little five-on-one
* play in a one-man show
* play five against one
* play pocket pinball
* play pocket pool
* play tug-of-war with the cyclops
* play Uno
* please your pisser
* plunk your twanger
* polish Percy in your palm
* polish the family jewels
* polish the rocket
* polish the sword
* pound off
* pound the bald-headed moose
* pound the pud
* pound your flounder
* pull off
* pull rank
* pull the carrot
* pull the cord
* pull the five-knuckle shuffle
* pull the goalie
* pull the pole
* pull the pope
* pull the tool
* pull your pud
* pull your prick
* pull your taffy
* pump the python
* punchin’ the munchkin
* ram the ham
* ride the great white knuckler
* roll your own
* rope the pony
* rope the pope
* rub off
* rub one out
* run off a batch by hand
* sacrifice sperm to the god of lonely nights
* scour the tower of power
* self abuse
* self-induced penile regurgitation
* shag
* shake hands with the unemployed
* shake hands with your John Thomas
* shake hands with your wife’s best friend
* shemp the hog
* shift gears
* shine the helmet
* shine your pole
* shoot putty at the moon
* shoot skeet (pull…shoot)
* shoot the moon
* slakin’ the bacon
* slam the ham
* slam the spam
* slammin’ the salmon
* slap high fives with Yul Brynner
* slap the carrot
* slap the clown
* slap the donkey
* slap the pud
* slap the salami
* slappin’ pappy
* sling the jelly
* snap the monkey
* snap the rubber
* snap the snake
* snap the whip
* solo sex
* spank the frank
* spank the monkey
* spank the salami
* spilling the seed
* squeeze the cheese
* squeeze the juice
* squeeze the squirrel
* stickin’ it slick
* stinky pinky
* stir the yogurt
* stoke it
* strangle the Pope
* stroke it
* stroke off
* stroke the one-eyed burping gecko
* stroke the dog
* stroke the satin-headed serpent
* stroke your poker
* stroking Willie the one-eyed wonder-worm
* take matters into your own hands
* take the monster for a one-armed ride
* take part in population control
* tease the weenie
* tenderize the tube steak
* test the testicles
* test your batteries
* the art of Unisex
* the lonliest date
* tickly my fancy
* tickle the pickle
* toss off
* toss the turkey
* twang the wire
* thump the pump
* tweak your twinkie
* varnish the flagpole
* wack the one-eyed worm
* wack the weasel
* wack the willie
* walk the dog
* walk the plank
* wank
* wax the carrot
* wax the dolphin
* wax your surfboard
* whack off
* whip off
* whip the dummy
* whip the wire
* whip the willie
* whip up some sour cream
* whip your dripper
* whizzin’ jism
* wixen
* wonk your conker
* work off
* wrestle the eel
* wring out your rope
* wrist aerobics
* yank off
* yank the crank
* yank your plank
* yank the yoyo
Aah, the satisfaction of being a male is just… priceless.
Source: http://justin.justnet.com.au/rudestuff/
man… i hope you didnt type that all out urself..
LOL.. that was cool… what a list!!
well then make the most out of your manhood
nice one!
lol,,, that was cool dude,,,, work it out men!!!
You can write your own dictionary.
its a great…,,
Marami talagang nafoformulate ang mga shallow at idle.
whoa! it’s difficult for me to find those terms in my Thesaurus hahaha!!! oops, got to go call me 09062449698
ITs cool!!! Ya, being a man is so nice…
….dude that was the coolesT bloG i evr reaD…keep it up men….
Wow! It’s cool, it’s nice blog
Ewan….
Ewan at ewan..bstah..ewan..at ewan pa dn….
P0rque? Que p0rque??? P0rque….!!!!
Porque ansina dinyo mga pensamient0??? Ta duele el dimiy0 c0raz0n…..
cool…how nice was that…
Que h0rr0r!!! Que barbaridad!!! Cosa klase palabra kam0 tiene???
one word. gawdthat’ssofreaky. :))
That’s true! HA HA HA!
..elo guyz..wazz up!
funny carrot picture..lol
nice one!!.. lewl!!..
yeah right…the carrot picture is one of a kind too…
great blog….
cool pare!!!
nice one
allo nice things i can open that everytime i wont on
that was cool! ..lol… I think the carrot picture is great! haha nice work man!
wow.. watta lot names….
“get a grip on yourself” This is funny
On another note, this is the ultimate proof that a lot of guys have to resort to “a quiet date” instead of getting a real one, he he he
Another great reason why i am happier being a gal since we DO NOT waste time thinking up of a list as this…Shopping is a LOT better…:)
YEAH!
IT’S FUN TO HAVE A COLORFUL WANG!!!!!!!
AND…
i KNOW A LOT OF COLORFUL PUSSY WILL CRAVE…
NYAHAHAHAHA…
what a list…. english pa lang yon… eh pag Tagalog pa? an dami non, promise. try ko kaya? ha ha ha ha…
nice nice nice…..more names to b recover…..
wow that was long! yeah we could try that in other language lets see how long we could add up to that. let me try in Filipino…
wow… luks lyk da real one, lyk it so…………. much
Tama ka jan! Ang galing mo mag isip ah!
diz blog is serious shit very cool dude!!
okay … though i am a woman myself … but i have a good laugh reading it …
i give you my bow, dear sir!
Sugoi!! Bravo!! that was cool dude!
it’s….
haha!! lost ma words..i damn sure u study a lot ma friend..nice work man…hehee..
Is this all there is to why manhood is better? But for what its worth,i had a good laff!
astig ah. nakakatuwa. pa memorize mo toh kay janina san miguel para ma improve naman ang english nya. wakakakakaka!!
joke lang. hahaha!
that was f**cking great. . .keep it up. . .
that was long. . . . . .
THAT WAS THE CRAZIEST THING IVE EVER READ!..ASTIG..
I like your body and I want it
that was a lot of names of terms… wer did u get those??
hahaha..i find it weird(and funny.haha!)that you guys actually name your d****..
dat was so coool!!!!!
haha very creative of u
ya forgot good ol’ Johnson, dude…
adik ka!
that’s true dude,sori gurls
elow nice
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu………….
this blog rocked my stomach…
LoL…
Lmao…
Lol…
hi try to read my blog for you toknow what is the rela meaning of life. lonely_bisex2001@yahoo.com is my friendster
haha. cool man
well dude, continue enjoying the life…if you’re MAN enough
WHAT ABOUT THIS..
BACK OFF! THEIR COMING…
a waste of bandwidth…
boys arent real boys widout girls.
hi,.,,,,musta dong
you are rite!!!
WOW!!!
thats crazy man!!! but in the whole your right, We men are very lucky cause when times gets hot we can satisfy ourselves, unlike women(no offense!!) ahahaha
so cute!!!
yun lang!!!
lol!
whoa!….didn’t realize u got so many things inside ur brain about that THING!
Oh my..!u think all that..??
wow.. what a f****** man’s rules. drunk n watch my finger’ fly away.
,,,haHahA….CoOl
Grabeh ah..wer did u get all those terms pare?
oh! la la…grabe ka!
………….hi…………..
………..eow..pouh………..
………..ingat ka lagi…….
first time to read a blog from start to finish…hahaha…
lol
wow………… compl8 xplanation………..
haha!
hahahahah good…..
Amazing Carrot ha! that was cool dude….
detalyado lahat…grbe
hahahahaha…….wat a nice idea..ang galing mow mag icip brow….
heLLO to.. u can add me up.. jmm_0388@yahoo.com
>>
>>>
>>>>
woooohoooo!!!!! your blog is so nice… I think I must rate it uhmmmm….. PG. wehehe We men talaga are so great. As in Alexander The Great. toinkz txt nio Q 09214659616
HAHAHA!!!
A S T I G
W H H H H O O O O !!!!
nice pic bro…
well what else can I say… you have it all… but mind you that thing for me should be kept P&C
nice
hahahahaha…. nalingaw ko!!!
CAN WE MET? HEHE JAZ KIDDING NICE.,BLOG,.
im searching 4 som1 any1? haha.,jaz txt me 09186767335, or add me lara_dec@yahoo.com, common il kep u waiting guyz,.
cool blog.. haha
panu mg create ng blog/???????????????
you are handsome u know…i like your smile…can u be my friend…this is my phone number..09109988530
so very true…
but a subspecies of us men, is somewhat different..
man, u must be one hell of a fucker?? ahahah.. muahh ♥♥♥
yes, but little do you seem to see that by those hundred names comes a hundred responsibilities dude.
gemays dude. ganda ng blog mo! woohoo!
r u jerk!!!joke! its really nice..keep it up dude!!
nice one
oh, c’mon! Cool! it was great! Your the best dude! Rock on SuperPenisMan!
wahahahahahaha!!!!
that’s hilarious!
i wonder if u still have sex with a REAL woman!
c’mon, give ur hand a break and grab s0me pussy!
lolz!
i’d better go shopping than “JUST” scratch my man’s whatsoever you call it! (ahahahah, lots of terms)
anyway, keep it up! u’ve got a lot of readers…
how about writting about “OURS” too…
lolz…
ciao!!!
^_^
ok………….ang galing mo bro……………
ok ka fren
ok ka fren
fuck..
it,s quiet stupid things..
hahaha…
hahaha.nice.
good job.though typing it wouldve been a lot of problem for you.nice effort
how did u knw all that men?!
Dude,
That’s cool…
do u really have to right that here in your blog? i mean what is your purpose?
purpose? so u can read this so-not-very-important-stuff-but-funny blog (d’uh!)
and please learn to correct your spelling again.
what a blog im a gurl but i like your blog because its complete explanation ^^ but be sensitive ^^
>>>well, nothing to say more about it! u really got the power!
eventhough am a bisexual still u steal my time to read ur SENSUAL blog!
it’s so cool!!!!!_dude
pretty well said…i honestly enjoyed reading your blog, thats really one of a kind…heheheheh
wow… is that based on experienced? heheh…
@_@! my eyes almost popped out just reading the list! But was it really necessary to flaunt? LOLZ
wOwW!
enjoy reading ur bLOg..
the listing about xxxxx is the 1st time i read n know more types about xxxxx……. huhu..
it’s time to yank the yoyo!!
LOLz
Son,
You just earned the title “Lone Living and Walking Erotic Dictionary.” LOL.
i wonder too why emo said those non sense messages!!!jowk juzt getting your attenzyon!!!
wanna have real sexlife with me?????add me as your friend!!!hehehehehe muuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh
-for the maker of thiz blog!!!nice blog!!!enx!!!!
_add me poh_
regdz_khalog05@yahoo.com
_tanx_