Dear Dad,
I missed you so much. Between the lines of “I hate you for abandoning
me” and “You jerk, leaving your family like this” yes, I do miss you so much.
Just want to say Happy Father’s Day in a common ways, where son meet up with
their father after so many years apart. Exchanging stories about how regular
life has become, sport teams that does sucks last year or just hanging with
their son and daughters between TV episodes on the couch while their mother
prepare some beers and homemade cookies.
Has this life become a dream so vast I couldn’t have it in my small
hands? Or is it me left behind from the train that supposed to take me..well…I
dunno, somewhere real? I never knew my parents, how they look like, what their
jobs are, what is their favorite food and fragrance, or even know their names.
I’m one of those apples that accidentally fall down the hill far from its tree.
Not making this dramatic, but I just couldn’t lie to myself how I
missed my parents love and touch. Imagining them by my side every Christmas is
shit, I’m telling you. Were those real? I don’t know anymore what is real.
What’s real for me is I gotta work my ass off to support mysel
f day to day in
this city. I have my own dreams to fulfill, I have my own train to catch and
for sure that ain’t easy but I know I can do it.
Its Father’s Day as I take a peek on my desk calendar. I smiled a
little, feeling empty and awkward for celebrating something without anyone to
celebrate for. Imagining whether my dad is a rich folk with two separate tennis
court and a gold fish pond but filled with imitation fish made of gold. Or is
he a professor from a reputable University in London carrying whip lash on his
waist. Or maybe he’s a regular father with one of those Toyota car from early
2000 with a cat and two wives, one of them is pregnant of their 8th
daughter. Things could happen after 24 years and I never hope for anything, coz
most of the time hope brings you down.
My point is, I just want to see my dad, slap him hard and then hug him
like there’s no tomorrow. Tell him all my stories, share him my problems and
seek for advice. But all I can do is dreaming and until that day comes, I gotta
wake up and pay attention if I wanna go somewhere and be somebody. I wanna make
him proud when he sees his son has become someone, probably better than him.
Well dad, Happy Father’s Day!
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