It’s almost here. The day I dreaded is almost here.
My empty jar has not filled yet, a symphony of unfulfilled dreams that I dreamt for 10 long years. Since I was merely a soul I’m making a pledge to myself that I will live in NYC in my 25th birthday. And that day is just 10 days left and I’m standing here like a big loser in the door of disappointment.
New York City, a dream of a young boy somewhere in another part of the world without having any knowledge of the Big Apple himself. I never been there, doesn’t know anyone there but dare to take my dream as far as my mind could take me. People have told me so many stories relating to that particular city, where the people never sleeps, where the traffic is making your head explode in anger, where money is the most thing that matter and needed there, where your blood and sweat combine together to just live in that city.
All of my life I’m trying to make it simple, something I could hold on and running to. In my life there are only 3 places that most matter to me: NYC, Europe and Africa. I want to work my ass off in NYC, when my ambition fighting for place between my ego. As time goes by, youth no longer in my dictionary I dare to cross the land towards Europe. Visit Greece, Milan, Paris, Venice and Berlin just to enjoy my work and continue maintaining my business relation everywhere.
And the last resort of my tired old soul, Africa is my sanctuary. Where earth still untouched by the thickness of asphalt, where trees and mountains never changes into building and parking lot. I could hear the animals’ passes by the gate of my humble residence in the land of Africa. Goes fishing or croc hunting by the weekend is just a bit of paradise for me. In there I will surrender my heart beat and died peacefully whenever my time comes, coz I’m ready.
But before my mind wonder much further, I need to make a ground for my first place: NYC which I haven’t fulfilled yet. Such a disappointment for me, no one to blame but myself. I have work in every way to get myself to that city and nothing succeeded. Sometimes it just became a fairytale in a mist I could never have. Thus, I never lose hope and always believe in myself. Time might change, plan could alter, but the process is always as important as the result.
they follow me to my bed
they follow me to my sleep
they follow me to my grave
and if you let me die in peace
i will never haunt you away
my shadow will
Tika - Saddest Farewell
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