Bra1n-w@shed

I used to have a beautiful home when I was a kid. Small but descent. It has a small pond in the backyard, full of trees and orchids as my mom love them so much. It’s a one story house, with a small porch and simple front yard. We sold it 14 years ago before heading to Australia, me and my mom. I loved her so much when we own that house. I used to ask her if she loves me too, everytime. And she answered in a most warm and honest way that she does. I thought those moment and place are just merely a dream in my lonely nights at the present.

Like a gorge I must jump across to proof that those memories of my childhood are still there. The days are sometimes very prickly for me to step on. Lesser and lesser people I could trust. Role model is almost impossible to find these days. People who you thought you can trust are just wolf in sheep clothing. Those who are the most closest to you are actually people you must get away from. They stab you so slow and deep that you can’t pull back.

I understand that as a human grown with so many perils he can truly develop into a higher state of mind. But sometimes is just hard. When we are feeling merely a human made of flesh and loneliness. Why is the question I can’t break into an answer. All I need is someone sincere with his feelings and honest to understand both of us. Maybe I’m placing my wall a bit too high. That’s just because I try to protect a heart that is not whole anymore.

This feeling is way too late for me to feel again. I try to hide under my loads of work and so-called-social life but the cracks seemed getting bigger. The hurt is just slipping in sometimes. No matter who you are, what you are, where you come from, how big your lies is, the true mask of truth will reveal in time. It’s as if I could surgeon them open with my bare hand to see who they really are. Strip them down to the bones and see if I can find someone in there.

Peace.
Surrounds.
Reflectance.
And I can see is lies and nothing else.