Bra1n-w@shed

I’m stuck at the airport. My flight was actually scheduled for 1.10pm from Jakarta heading to Bali. But my mom is sick and she’s been hospitalized for more than a week for heart failure. Earlier this morning I had to take her out from the hospital since my aunt take care of her other sick sister. Yeah, illness is their best friend lately. The administration at the hospital was suck bad time. Took me nearly 3 hours to get things done and that makes me late to catch my flight.

My boss and my other colleague already boarding and take the 1.10pm Garuda flight while I was late and had to take next flight schedule that is 3.10pm. well, call me this isn’t my lucky day because the flight was delayed for more than an hour. All they can say are apology and sorry. What the fuck? What about me when I ask them to let me in when I was doing my check in at 1pm before? Shit.

I immediately call my boss but she already on the plane, her mobile phone is off. So I send her text message hoping when she arrived in Bali she’ll read it. I said sorry for ruining our business trip schedule. If we are on the correct plan earlier, we arrived at Pitamaha resort about 5 and dinner with the PR on 6.30pm. But things change. Mostly because of me and my crappy time management [and force majeure]. I was hoping their plane delayed so I can catch up, then again, it’s just not my luck.

So here I am, in the boarding lounge with other pissed passenger cursing the cursed Garuda management with their curses. i start to imagine the air in where I’m sitting now are filled with black and grey smokes coming from anger passengers. As if I can hear their thoughts of disappointments and broken hopes on what they are already planning earlier. People start getting busy with their nonsense readings, website-less notebook and silly chit chat with the other passenger sitting next to them.

Disappointment has been man best friend for a long time. Between their empty lives and brick houses they somehow place hope in the cracks. When those small precious hopes are torn and left unformed to a concrete outline they get disappointed. A simple analyze from my small head seemed deranged when you hit it with stone of reality. And when that layer of disappointments has become a wall so high it covers your sense to other and some stopping life becoming something what you used to adore.

“In starlight you come from the other side, to offer me mercy. Mercy, mercy”, Antony Hegard sang his tune through my iPod. Kinda true I guess when most of us are trying to look for something that can actually sooth our bruises. The scratches we get from placing our hopes to someone we thought is the one. Or maybe just hoping they’ll be there in the hard times. But they are all just another disappointments in our pages.

I see so many people turned me down lately. Even people that I once knew as a ‘friend’. I always try to break that statement “everybody lies” but I just can’t because it’s so true. When they even dare to say I love you as if that word is on sale nowadays. How can I believe that? Am I a 5 year old kid that just learning to step into the world?? Amron asked me whether I put my standard to high or I make love sounds overrated. I don’t think so, it’s just sincerity is way too expensive for me to buy from people these days. All I need is feel affection for with no drama. Is it too much to ask?